If the word networking makes you picture stiff handshakes, forced smiles, and awkward small talk, you’re not alone. Many professionals secretly dread networking events because they feel like performances, rooms full of people trying to impress, dropping buzzwords, and swapping business cards like they’re trading cards. But here’s the truth: networking doesn’t have to feel fake.

When done right, it can be one of the most authentic ways to build relationships, discover opportunities, and grow both personally and professionally. In fact, a Harvard Business Review study found that the most successful networkers focus less on “working the room” and more on building meaningful, mutually beneficial connections.

The key is shifting your mindset: networking is less about using people and more about connecting with people. Whether you’re an introvert, a young professional, or simply someone tired of transactional encounters, here are seven proven ways to network without losing your authenticity.

1. Lead With Curiosity, Not Business Cards

The most powerful networkers aren’t the ones who talk the most, they’re the ones who listen. Instead of worrying about what you’ll say to impress, focus on being genuinely curious about the other person. Ask about their journey, their challenges, or what excites them about their work.

People can sense when you’re truly interested versus when you’re just waiting to hand them your business card. For example, at a conference, instead of leading with, “Here’s what I do,” you might say, “I’d love to hear what brought you here today.” That small shift makes the other person feel valued, which lays the foundation for real connection.

Author Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” Networking works the same way.

2. Share Stories, Not Scripts

Nobody enjoys conversations that sound like rehearsed elevator pitches. A more powerful way to connect is by sharing stories. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m a financial analyst,”you might say, “I got into finance because I wanted to help people avoid the mistakes I saw my family make with money.”

Stories make you relatable, they reveal personality, and they stick in people’s minds far longer than a job title. Stanford Professor of Marketing, Jennifer Aaker stated that stories are remembered up to 22 times more than facts alone.

Think of networking as storytelling, not self-advertising. A good story, even a short one, gives people something to connect with and something to remember you by.

3. Focus on Value, Not Favours

Many people dislike networking because it feels like everyone is asking for something. But the strongest networks are built on giving, not taking. Ask yourself: What can I offer here? Maybe it’s sharing a useful resource, recommending a book, introducing someone to a contact, or even just offering encouragement.

For example, if you meet a marketing consultant struggling with content ideas, you could follow up by sending them an interesting podcast or article you recently read. That small act demonstrates that you were listening and that you care about their success.

When you lead with generosity, you flip the dynamic. Instead of being seen as someone looking for favours, you become a person people want to stay connected with. Over time, that creates trust and opportunities that feel natural, not transactional.

4. Find Shared Interests Beyond Work

Some of the best professional relationships begin with something completely unrelated to work. Conversations about hobbies, favourite books, travel destinations, or even food can create surprisingly strong bonds.

Imagine you’re at a networking dinner and instead of diving into job titles, you discover that the person next to you loves Nollywood films, just like you. That one shared interest can spark a connection that feels authentic and memorable.

Later, when work topics come up, the relationship already feels warmer. Finding shared interests creates that emotional investment.

5. Embrace Quality Over Quantity

The pressure to “work the room” often leads to surface-level conversations and a stack of business cards that never turn into anything meaningful. Instead of trying to meet everyone, focus on having two or three real conversations.

Think about it this way: would you rather have 50 weak contacts who barely remember your name, or three strong ones who would happily recommend you for an opportunity? In networking, depth matters more than breadth.

Networking isn’t speed dating, it’s relationship building.

6. Use Digital Spaces Authentically

In today’s world, networking doesn’t just happen at conferences or dinners. LinkedIn, Twitter, professional WhatsApp groups, and even Instagram are powerful spaces for connecting with like-minded people. But authenticity still matters online.

Instead of sending bland connection requests, personalize them. Mention why you admire their work or reference something they’ve shared. For example, instead of writing, “I’d like to connect,” you might write, “I enjoyed your post on remote work challenges, it reminded me of a project I recently worked on.”

This small effort shows you see the person as more than just another contact on your list. Over time, engaging authentically; commenting thoughtfully on posts, sharing resources, or even just congratulating someone on a milestone—creates genuine digital relationships that are just as valuable as in-person ones.

7. Follow Up Like a Human, Not a Robot

The real magic of networking happens after the first conversation. But most people drop the ball here by sending generic follow-ups like, “It was nice meeting you.”

Instead, make your follow-up personal and warm. Reference something specific you discussed.

For example, you could write, “It was great chatting about your startup idea. Let me know if you want to swap podcast recommendations, we talked about that leadership show I love.”

This kind of follow-up doesn’t feel forced, it feels like a continuation of a conversation. And that’s exactly how professional relationships should grow: naturally, over time.

Conclusion

Networking without feeling fake comes down to one thing: connection over transaction. People can sense when you’re genuine. By approaching others with curiosity, offering value, and being yourself, you turn networking from a dreaded task into an opportunity to create meaningful relationships that last.

When you stop performing and start connecting, networking stops feeling fake, and starts feeling like friendship.

(All images are from pinterest)