A new study by academics at the University of Berlin has revealed that having more children than desired can be more unfulfilling than having no children at all. This finding emerged from a comprehensive survey of over 23,000 adults, where parents who had more offspring than they ideally wanted reported the lowest levels of life satisfaction. This research comes at a time when fertility rates across Europe have reached record lows, with British couples, for instance, averaging just 1.4 children.

The researchers utilized data from the German Socio-Economic Panel Study, which gathered information on participants' actual and desired number of children. The study cohort was categorized into five distinct groups: individuals who chose to be child-free, those who desired children but were unable to have them, parents who achieved their ideal family size, and two groups encompassing parents who either had more or fewer children than they had initially wanted. Participants were then asked to rate their overall life satisfaction, considering various life factors such as their work-life balance and relationship status.

The results indicated that while a significant number of individuals did not meet their fertility desires, only one specific group experienced a clear and robust decline in their mental wellbeing: those who had more children than they had originally wanted. Crucially, the study also found that not having children, whether by personal choice or due to circumstances, was not associated with lower levels of wellbeing. Dr. Laura Buchinger, the lead author of the study, emphasized this point, stating, "Exceeding one's fertility desires was robustly linked to lower wellbeing in both women and men."

The academics proposed that this phenomenon likely stems from the often-overlooked "hidden costs of parenthood." Dr. Buchinger further elaborated that the stronger sociocultural expectations frequently placed on women are often compounded by the heavier burdens associated with motherhood. In contrast, women without children tend to have more time to dedicate to career pursuits, achieve greater financial independence, and foster the development of robust social networks and hobbies—all of which are factors demonstrably linked to healthy aging and overall life satisfaction.

This new research aligns with previous studies that have connected motherhood to lower self-esteem and reduced relationship satisfaction, largely attributed to the substantial physical and emotional labor traditionally shouldered by women. A 2025 study, for example, highlighted this disparity, revealing that mothers are responsible for more than 70 percent of household tasks, whereas fathers handle approximately 43 percent. This imbalance underscores the significant demands and potential strains placed on parents, particularly mothers, when family size exceeds personal desires.