Men’s Mental Health Month in June has ended, but the conversations it sparked must continue. One issue that doesn’t get enough attention is a phenomenon known as “normative male alexithymia.”

This refers to the difficulty many men have in identifying, expressing, or even fully recognizing their own emotions, not because of a disorder, but because they’ve been socialised that way.

The term “alexithymia” literally means “no words for emotions.” In men, this isn’t always pathological. It is often cultural. From a young age, many boys are taught implicitly or explicitly to “man up.” In many Ghanaian homes, you’ll still hear the adage “barima nsu,” meaning “a man does not cry.” Too often, vulnerability is associated with weakness. Sadness or fear is seen as softness.

Anger, on the other hand, is considered a more acceptable emotional outburst. Over time, this emotional suppression blunts emotional literacy. Men often can’t name or locate what they’re feeling beyond basic states like stress, anger, or tiredness.

Now, this is the trap. Many men don’t realise they’re emotionally disconnected, because their environment never encouraged introspection or emotional nuance. As a result, they’re less likely to seek help, not because they are unwilling, but because they can’t articulate why they need it.

This emotional distancing doesn’t just stay in the mind. It shows up in the body, in relationships, and in how stress is carried like an invisible weight. When feelings are unnamed, they fester. They turn into headaches, insomnia, irritability, and withdrawal. They become “short-tempered” or “I just need space”, or “I’m fine.” But often, they are anything but fine.

Normative male alexithymia isn’t about fault. It’s not that men are emotionally broken. It’s that they’ve been taught to armour up so well that even they forget they’re wearing armour. The boy who wasn’t allowed to cry becomes the man who doesn’t know how. And because he doesn’t know how, he doesn’t ask for help. Not because he’s proud. Because he’s unsure what he even feels, or how to explain it.

When we talk about men’s mental health, we need to go beyond awareness months and hashtags. We need to create spaces where emotional honesty isn’t met with ridicule but with understanding. We need to raise boys with the language of feelings, not shame. We need to allow men to feel sadness, fear, and confusion, not just anger and silence.

Because here’s the truth. Emotional literacy is a strength. Being able to sit with your feelings, name them, and share them is courage. That is manhood, too. Let’s unlearn the silence. Let’s make space for softness. Let’s teach a new generation that there is no shame in being human.

Through the Zyptyk app, we’re working to change this by creating safe, stigma-free spaces where men can talk, feel, and be heard. Whether it’s through peer support, therapy, or our digital mental health tools, we’re helping more men find the words for what they’ve been carrying for far too long.