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Kids’ Therapist Reveals Secrets to Stress-Free School Conversations

Published 4 weeks ago3 minute read
Precious Eseaye
Precious Eseaye
Kids’ Therapist Reveals Secrets to Stress-Free School Conversations

Parents often face significant challenges in managing the daily routines of their children, particularly during stressful school mornings and when attempting to connect after a long day. Fortunately, expert advice from children's therapists offers two distinct yet complementary strategies to alleviate these common stressors: preparing children for the day ahead to prevent morning meltdowns and fostering open communication about their school experiences without resorting to an 'interviewer-style' approach.

One primary source of morning chaos and tantrums stems from unpredictability, as children's brains resist sudden changes and unknown routines. Parenting coach Jo, from Walker's Therapy, highlights that chore charts and nagging are ineffective because they don't address this core issue. Instead, Jo advocates for 'previewing the day the night before.' This simple, 60-second bedtime conversation involves calmly outlining the next morning's sequence of events, such as "when you wake up we'll get dressed first, then breakfast, then shoes, then walk to school."

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By allowing children's brains to 'know the script' in advance, their nervous systems feel safer, leading to smoother mornings and potentially easier sleep. For younger children or those who respond well to visual aids, drawing a few simple pictures can create a 'little road map' of the day, further enhancing predictability and peace. This method, according to Jo, saves an estimated 20 minutes of morning chaos and transforms stressful school mornings into calm, predictable routines.

Beyond the morning rush, another common pitfall for parents is bombarding children with questions about their school day, often yielding little response. Speech therapist Emma explains that this 'interviewer-style' questioning, while stemming from love and curiosity, creates unnecessary pressure for little ones. As an alternative, Emma proposes a clever two-step approach to encourage children to open up naturally.

The first step involves establishing a non-verbal signal, such as a thumb gesture (up for good, horizontal for so-so, down for bad), to check in on the child's emotional state in the moment. Parents can also use this signal to share their own feelings, modeling openness. The second step, once the child's immediate mood is gauged, is for the parent to share a brief, personal anecdote about their own day, like "I had something really delicious for lunch. I had super slurpy spaghetti."

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Following this, a deliberate pause is crucial. This pause gives the child an opportunity to share something about their day if they wish, without any pressure or expectation to do so. This method shifts the dynamic from an interrogation to a shared conversation, making it easier for children to communicate at their own pace and on their own terms, thereby fostering genuine connection.

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