The 51st season of "Saturday Night Live" kicked off with a memorable cold open, featuring Colin Jost and James Austin Johnson. Jost took on the role of "secretary of war" Pete Hegseth, delivering a satirical lament about the state of the U.S. military. His portrayal humorously exaggerated Hegseth's real-life sentiments, with Jost's character asserting that "Our military is gay as hell" and "It’s also never been fatter!" The sketch directly addressed these concerns by demanding a military composed of "hot, shredded, hairless men who are definitely not gay," removing any subtlety from the implied critique.

The segment was then interrupted by James Austin Johnson's impression of Donald Trump. Trump's appearance brought a meta-commentary layer to the cold open, as he stated he was "Just here keeping my eye on ‘SNL‘ making sure they don’t do anything too mean about me." He quickly pivoted to critiquing the show itself, noting, "SNL 51 off to a rough start: 17 new cast members and they got the ‘Update’ guy doing the open," a clear reference to the cast changes and Jost's unusual role outside of Weekend Update. Trump also delivered a personal jab at Jost, questioning why he wasn't "with his friends at the Riyadh Comedy Festival," to which Jost's character simply replied he hadn't received an offer.

As the sketch progressed, Trump introduced his "attack dog at the FCC, Brandon Carr," emphasizing his intention to keep late-night shows in line. Mikey Day then made an entrance as the actual Brendan Carr, complete with Rockwell's "Somebody’s Watching Me" playing in the background. Carr's initial task was to correct Trump's mispronunciation of his first name, clarifying it was "Brendan," not "Brandon." However, Trump dismissed this correction, indicating it was not a priority. The cold open concluded with Trump's signature line, "Remember: Daddy’s watching." James Austin Johnson has been a recurring performer portraying Donald Trump on "Saturday Night Live" since his hiring in 2021, a role he continued to refine in this season's premiere.