Each December, many find themselves dreading the festive season, not for lack of cheer, but due to unavoidable encounters with individuals who diminish their self-worth. One patient, for instance, confided in psychiatrist Dr. Max Pemberton about her annual apprehension concerning her sister-in-law, whose pointed questions about her job, weight, and relationship status left her feeling like a 'complete failure.' This scenario underscores an uncomfortable reality of the holidays: they compel close proximity with people we would ordinarily avoid, from credit-taking colleagues to controversial uncles and boastful school friends.

While these difficult relationships can be managed through careful rationing during the rest of the year, December is relentless. Office parties, family gatherings, and catch-ups with long-unseen friends create an exhausting schedule of enforced jollity, further depleting an already strained social battery. The heightened emotions of the season, coupled with the flow of alcohol and lowered inhibitions, often amplify everyone’s most difficult qualities, transforming occasional critics into relentless judges and casual boastfulness into insufferable smugness, leaving many to wonder how to escape such corners.

Having navigated these treacherous social waters for over two decades, Dr. Max Pemberton offers crucial advice. First, he emphasizes the importance of accepting that you cannot change other people. Wasting mental energy hoping a relative like 'Auntie Margaret' will finally stop making pointed comments is futile; she won't. The only aspect truly within one's control is their own response. Second, mental preparation is key. Patients are advised to spend a few minutes before challenging social events to anticipate potential triggers and formulate bland, conversation-ending responses. For instance, an intrusive question about finances can be met with a simple, 'Oh, everything’s ticking along fine. Now, have you tried the mince pies?'

Third, Dr. Pemberton stresses the importance of self-permission to limit exposure. There is no virtue in martyrdom. If an office party becomes miserable, it's perfectly acceptable to leave early. Should a family gathering grow unbearable, stepping outside for fresh air, volunteering to walk the dog, or feigning an urgent task in the kitchen are all valid strategies for brief, restorative breaks. Fourth, resist the urge to compare yourself to others. When a friend boasts about promotions, holiday homes, or children’s achievements, remember that this is merely a 'highlights reel.' Everyone has struggles, and someone else's success does not diminish your own worth.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, be strategic about emotional energy investment. Meaningful engagement isn't required with everyone. For truly toxic individuals, the 'grey rock technique' is remarkably effective: be pleasant but utterly boring. Offer short, uninteresting answers, avoid rising to provocations, and refrain from sharing anything personal that could be used against you. By becoming as uninteresting as a grey rock, you deny difficult people the reaction they seek, often prompting them to move on. Dr. Pemberton's patient, incidentally, found peace with her sister-in-law not by changing her, but by adjusting her own expectations and responses, aiming for civility, preparing beforehand, limiting exposure, and scheduling restorative activities afterward. Christmas can be challenging, and it's vital to be kind to oneself, recognizing that prioritizing mental well-being is not ungrateful.

In other news, Davina McCall recently offered a quietly revolutionary example of personal boundaries by marrying hairdresser Michael Douglas in secret. In an era where celebrities often publicize proposals and sell wedding photographs, their small, intimate ceremony with only the closest people, followed by a larger celebration for friends and family, was refreshingly old-fashioned. McCall, known for her admirable openness about personal struggles including addiction, brain surgery, and a recent breast cancer diagnosis, clearly understands the value of sharing one's story while also recognizing that some moments are simply too precious to be commodified.

Meanwhile, Baroness Amos has voiced concerns over the unacceptable level of care she encountered in NHS maternity services, an experience that, for many who have been following the issue, comes as no surprise. With another 'interim report' preceding a full review, families affected by failings at Oxford University Hospitals and other trusts express a familiar sentiment: that nothing will truly change. The time for reflection has passed; what families deserve now is decisive action.

To counteract holiday stress, Dr. Max Pemberton prescribes a simple remedy: revisiting beloved childhood Christmas films. There's a strong psychological basis for this, as nostalgia actively boosts mood, increases feelings of social connectedness, and provides comfort. Dr. Pemberton personally watches 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' every year, encouraging everyone to dig out their own favorite film for a dose of well-being. January, after all, is only a few weeks away.