Praise lifts us up, and criticism crushes us. Later, we reflect and wish we’d handled it differently. What if we could learn to respond to praise and criticism consciously? Yoga is about developing self-awareness and a spiritual view of life. Is there a yogic way to handle praise and criticism more wisely?

Dr Ramesh Bijlani, former professor at AIIMS, has been integrating modern medicine with Yoga, especially the Integral Yoga of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

Speaking to a select audience on the Yoga platform Hellomyyoga, he outlined how one could use praise and criticism as `Opportunities for Spiritual Growth’ (OSG). Here are edited excerpts from the conversation.

The Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 12, Verses 18–19) says our mind must remain stable when facing both ninda and stuti—that is, we must stay equal in honour and dishonour, praise and reproach. One who handles both with equanimity is dear to the Divine. What reward could be better than that?

Dr Bijlani cautions, however, that all equanimity is not spiritual. ‘I don’t care what they say, their opinion doesn’t matter to me’ is merely egoistic dismissal. And ‘it does not affect me, I’ve matured enough to rise above it all’ is philosophical indifference.

Real—spiritual— equanimity is equality. In this, we accept both praise and criticism with equal delight. The delight comes from the realisation that both have been given to us by the Divine so that we can use them for our spiritual growth, which is the very purpose of human life.

First, ask two questions:

What is the source of the praise? Not all praise is worth taking seriously. See who’s the one praising—is she or he competent to judge?

Is the praise sincere and genuine? We often crave praise so much that we’re happy even when it’s just flattery. See whether the person’s body language matches their words.

First important principle — show gratitude, no matter what type of praise it is.

Next, praise should be dismissed lightly, preferably with humour. Dr Bijlani recalls how when he became a professor at AIIMS at the age of 40 and was introduced as “the youngest professor", he dismissed it by saying “that actually means the most inexperienced professor!"

Another important principle — don’t use it as an ego-boost. Remember, even sincere praise can be an exaggeration.

Sincere praise can be used as an opportunity for spiritual growth, and there are three aspects to this:

Gratitude—to the giver, and to the Higher Power that has made you deserving of the praise.

Discovering hidden talents—Praise can play an important role in helping us discover what we’re good at. Often, our parents and society are responsible for our poor self-esteem; praise can help us rediscover our self-worth.

Sharing those talents with others—Let the gifts you’ve been given like ability to cook, sing, write, etc—bring joy to as many people as possible. Let this sharing be an expression of your love for others.

Dr Bijlani shares something interesting that the Mother said: If a temple were to boast of its beauty, we would find it silly and ridiculous. It is beautiful because of the architect who has designed it. But we boast so often, forgetting that we have also been designed by our Architect.

Criticism, too, comes in many forms.

• The worst kind is hostile and malicious.

• Criticism that is sympathetic but not constructive: An example of this is well-wishers and family questioning why you give so much money to charity or volunteer in an NGO. They can’t understand that you may be driven by love for fellow beings, which gives you greater joy and peace of mind than name and fame or money can. Without being arrogant about being superior, one must try to understand them. The Mother says that you may even inwardly smile at their inability to understand you. But still be grateful that they wish us well and want our happiness. Keep in mind that neither we nor they are perfect. All souls are evolving and this journey continues from life to life. Besides, any single precipitating situation can make you slide downwards; and one situation can make them whiz past upwards and go higher than you.

• The most helpful criticism comes from parents, teachers, and true friends.

• The best kind of criticism comes from spiritual partners. As author Gary Zukav says in his book Spiritual Partnership, spiritual partners provide us little nudges so we can grow. A spiritual partner may be any age and gender, and there is no limit on their number. Often, people find they have outgrown topics that interest friends and family. But you enjoy spiritual partners’ company because of shared interests and spiritual aspiration. When you discover such people, you feel an instant recognition, as though you’ve known them across lifetimes, or of having met them in another world and lived together.

Most people respond to criticism by either denying and defending, or getting angry and sulking.

For it to be an OSG, first, be grateful that the ego has received a bashing. Second, it is an opportunity to work on weaknesses, which is exactly what the journey of the soul—as well as the journey of Yoga—is all about.

He sums up with the Mother’s words: “… when Agni (the soul’s flame) flares up, you immediately develop a loathing for the cheap praise which formerly used to gratify you so much …whereas all criticism comes as a welcome fuel to your humble aspiration towards the Truth."

First Published:

News lifestyle YogMantra | Can’t Handle Praise Or Criticism? Let Yogic Wisdom Guide You