Introduction

In many African communities, boys are told to “man up,” to be strong, and to hide their emotions. From an early age, the message is clear: tears are weakness, vulnerability is unacceptable, and personal struggles are to be endured silently. Meanwhile, women and girls are being empowered in unprecedented ways, literacy programs, mentorship initiatives, sexual health campaigns, financial literacy, and empowerment projects have grown in numbers and visibility. “Pad Up a Girl,” “Educate Her,” “Girls Who Code,” and countless local programs aim to lift women and girls, giving them platforms, safe spaces, and voices in the public sphere.

But what about men? Where are the safe spaces for boys and men to speak openly about their struggles? Where are the mentorship programs for men that focus on mental health, emotional intelligence, and personal development? While girls’ programs often receive both governmental and NGO support, initiatives for boys remain scarce. This disparity begs the question: are African boys and men being left behind in modern conversations about gender?

The Rise of Women-Centric Programs

Across Africa, women’s empowerment initiatives have grown in scale and impact over the last two decades. Campaigns targeting female literacy, entrepreneurship, reproductive health, and career advancement have become mainstream, supported by NGOs, international organizations, and local governments. These programs are essential, there’s no denying that decades of systemic gender inequality have left women at a disadvantage in education, economic opportunity, and political representation.

The positive outcomes are clear: literacy rates among girls have improved, teenage pregnancy rates in some regions have declined, and more women are pursuing higher education and entrepreneurship. Women now have platforms to network, share experiences, and navigate challenges safely.

However, the focus on girls and women has created an unintended imbalance. While girls are learning to speak their truths, boys are still being conditioned to remain silent. The message that emotional expression is unmanly persists, leaving men to shoulder burdens alone.

In many African communities, the unwritten rules of masculinity are rigid. Boys are discouraged from crying, sharing feelings, or discussing personal challenges. Phrases like “man up” or “be a man” reinforce the idea that strength is measured in stoicism. But what does this so-called strength achieve?

Research consistently shows that emotional suppression is linked to mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and suicide. Men who feel unable to express themselves or seek support are more likely to experience psychological distress. The statistics are stark: in nearly every African country, men have higher mortality rates from suicide than women. Globally, men die earlier than women on average, a disparity experts partly attribute to the lack of emotional outlets and societal pressures to remain silent.

Safe spaces where men can meet, converse, and express emotions freely are rare. Cultural norms discourage men from attending counseling, joining support groups, or even talking to friends about personal challenges. Hanging out is often seen as leisure, not therapy; informal “men’s circles” are underdeveloped and undervalued.

The Consequences of Neglecting Boys

The consequences of ignoring boys’ emotional needs are severe and multifaceted. Beyond mental health, there’s a broader societal impact:

1. Rising Suicide Rates: African men are dying younger, often quietly, due to unaddressed psychological stress. Emotional repression can amplify feelings of hopelessness and isolation.

2. Substance Abuse: Men who lack healthy coping mechanisms may turn to alcohol, drugs, or risky behaviors as outlets for frustration or sadness.

3. Relationship Strain: Men unaccustomed to emotional communication struggle with intimacy, parenting, and friendships, which perpetuates cycles of misunderstanding and detachment.

4. Economic and Social Impact: Men struggling emotionally may underperform professionally, disengage socially, and contribute less effectively to community and family structures.

This contrasts sharply with women, who are encouraged to express, connect, and seek support. Women live longer, statistically, not solely due to biology but also because they actively use emotional networks to share burdens.

Why Men Should Have Their Own Spaces

Men’s programs and support systems are not about reversing empowerment or diminishing women’s progress. Rather, they complement the broader gender equality movement by ensuring that both sexes have the tools to thrive. Men need safe spaces to:

• Discuss personal challenges without judgment

• Explore mental health issues openly

• Learn emotional intelligence and healthy coping mechanisms

• Network for personal and professional growth

Imagine a culture where boys grow up learning that strength is not the absence of emotion but the courage to confront it. Where men can share struggles without shame, mentor younger boys, and build support networks that fortify both themselves and the communities they serve.It's high time we reimagine masculinity, reimagining masculinity doesn’t mean abandoning traditional values. African culture values responsibility, honor, and courage. But it must evolve to include emotional resilience as part of that definition. Boys should be encouraged to:

• Talk about mental health

• Seek help when needed

• Build meaningful friendships that allow vulnerability

• Celebrate achievements without hiding struggles

Redefining strength can transform society. Men who process emotions healthily are better partners, fathers, colleagues, and leaders. They can support women as equals rather than competitors for attention or power.The African governments, NGOs, and community leaders can take concrete steps to address this imbalance:

1. Develop Men-Focused Programs: Mentorship, mental health workshops, and safe spaces should target boys and men alongside women and girls programs.

2. Normalize Emotional Literacy: Schools can integrate emotional intelligence into curricula for boys, teaching them to understand and express feelings.

3. Promote Men’s Health Awareness: Public campaigns should address male mental health, suicide prevention, and emotional well-being with the same vigor as women’s initiatives.

4. Encourage Peer Support: Community-based “men’s circles” or youth clubs can offer informal platforms for conversation, reflection, and guidance.

5. Challenge Toxic Masculinity: Through media, arts, and education, the notion that “real men don’t cry” must be replaced with messages that validate vulnerability as strength.

The Role of African Men Themselves

Men must also take responsibility for their growth. Waiting for programs or initiatives is not enough. Boys and men can:

• Form mentorship and peer support groups

• Advocate for safe spaces in schools, workplaces, and communities

• Engage in self-education about mental health and emotional literacy

• Encourage openness in family and social circles

By doing so, men can break the cycle of silence and redefine masculinity on their own terms. By doing so gender conversation would be inclusive. While empowering women and girls is crucial, men must not be neglected. An equitable society requires both sexes to thrive emotionally, mentally, and socially.

If women live longer, succeed professionally, and navigate social spaces more effectively partly because they can share burdens, then men too deserve the same tools. Society benefits when all individuals, regardless of gender, have support systems that allow them to grow, express, and heal.

The war on boys is not a war against women, it is a societal blind spot. Africa’s progress depends on addressing it.

Conclusion

African men cannot continue to carry burdens in silence while women have platforms to share theirs. Strength is no longer measured by stoicism or endurance; it is measured by resilience, emotional intelligence, and the courage to seek help. Safe spaces, mentorship programs, and cultural shifts that validate men’s emotions are not luxuries, they are necessities.

The question remains: can Africa empower men the same way it empowers women, creating a generation that is both strong and emotionally literate? The answer could determine the future health, longevity, and prosperity of African men and the continent as a whole.