It’s not unusual for couples to disagree on parenting styles or how to discipline their kids.

But one mom turned to Reddit to get advice on an ongoing parenting issue she’s been having with her husband of 24 years.

The 43-year-old mom says she and her 45-year-old husband have two kids, ages 11 and 14. “We’ve been struggling to agree on how to handle disagreements about parenting in the moment,” she writes.

The mom says her husband has a habit of “correcting” her in front of their kids. She’s asked him to stop in private on multiple occasions.

“It makes me feel undermined, causes the kids to lose respect for me, and creates tension in our family dynamic,” she explains.

If she gets upset at the kids for talking back or calling her names, she says her husband tells her to “calm down” rather than supporting her. She insists there is “nothing extreme” about her behavior toward her children either.

“I’ve asked him to address concerns privately instead, but he feels that boundaries like this shouldn’t exist in a marriage where trust is fully developed,” she continues.

The mom says she’s advocating for teamwork and respect. Her husband, on the other hand, is looking at her request as a boundary that silences him. 

“He also argues that it’s hypocritical when I say, ‘Don’t correct me in front of the kids,’ in front of them, because he feels it models the same behavior I’m trying to avoid,” she writes.

Some Redditors wanted more clarity on what “nothing extreme” means, while others were concerned by the kids calling their mom names. But overall, most Redditors were on this mom’s side, pointing out that parents should be on the same team.

One said, “You shouldn’t even have to ask to avoid discussing in front of the kids, because parents should keep a united front.”

Another wrote: “Generally parents should present a united front. If there's an unresolved disagreement on overall parenting styles, that means you two need to discuss it privately and not in the heat of the moment.”

Others feel that the father may be promoting negative behavior in the home.

“That is not a small thing, that is literally ganging up on you and encouraging your kids to behave terribly,” one person wrote. 

Another said, “He’s teaching your sons that it’s okay to disrespect you, and the underlying message is that it’s okay—and expected—for men to disrespect their partners.”

This situation is tricky. But Bonnie Harris, MSEd, director of Connective Parenting, previously told Parents that caregivers should talk in private when they spot parenting behavior they disagree with. They should also avoid showing the other parent in a critical light.

This married couple seems to have hit a brick wall and may need some professional help from a marriage counselor, as another Reddit pointed out.

"You're fighting with your husband while fighting with the kids. Either you're out of line or he is, or both. But you're both teaching your kids some pretty scary stuff, and by default, you're also teaching the kids his behavior is OK by engaging with him. If he's wrong, he's not going to hear it from you," the Redditor wrote. "You need a neutral party to weigh in."

Therapy is also something our experts recommended in cases where conflict feels extreme. And most importantly, Harris said that there's never an age in child development when it's too late to make healthy changes in your parenting. Plus, children will benefit when their parents are more collaborative.