Lily Allen has candidly opened up about the profound emotional impact of her separation from ex-husband David Harbour, confessing to battling suicidal thoughts and nearly relapsing after six years of sobriety. The 40-year-old It’s Not Fair singer confirmed in December 2024 that her five-year marriage to the 50-year-old Stranger Things star had ended. Allen admitted to British Vogue’s November issue that she found herself in an intense period of despair following the split.

She told the magazine, “The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong. The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those [feelings] and not to use them.” To address her emotional turmoil, Allen checked herself into a trauma treatment facility in January, where she spent several weeks. During her time there, she engaged in therapy methods including shadow work and inner child exploration.

Explaining her decision to seek help, Allen stated, “I wanted to die. I’ve been into those places before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself. That’s strength. I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away.’” The Metro also reported that Allen heartbreakingly disclosed her ongoing struggles with food, which she said “got really, really, really bad” amidst the breakdown of her marriage.

Despite the challenging circumstances of their separation, Allen has reflected compassionately on her time with Harbour. She noted, “There were lots of good things about it. My kids had an amazing experience living in America for five years, and I have a lot of compassion for my ex-husband. I think we all suffer.” Allen returned to London earlier this year with her two daughters from her first marriage, Marnie (12) and Ethel (11).

Her upcoming album is set to explore the emotions that arose from the end of her marriage. Allen clarified, “There are things that are on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel. It is inspired by what went on in the relationship.” Reassuring British Vogue, she confirmed she is now in a much better place, stating, “Really not in the same space that I was when I wrote [these] songs. I have come a long way. I feel OK, actually.”

In terms of her romantic life, the Smile singer, who was linked to actor James Norton earlier in the year, is currently taking a break from dating to focus on “self-discovery.” The separation also brought to light further details regarding David Harbour’s actions. Allen was reportedly spotted on the celebrity dating app Raya last December, around the time of their split. It later emerged that she had allegedly discovered Harbour had been back on dating apps while they were still together, with an insider claiming he had been involved in a three-year affair with a costume designer he met on a movie set. Harbour then appeared to go public with an aspiring actress and model, who is 22 years his junior.