Throughout my journey in the NFL, one particular hobby has really helped me on and off the field. That hobby is chess. I learned how to play chess from a classmate at Notre Dame. We played all the time on an app called Chess.com. All the reps came in handy years later, when I won an online chess tournament for NFL players in 2023.

To win at chess, you must be planning future moves while making your current ones. You must always be thinking ahead. My wife, Jackie, and I take the same approach to parenting our three kids. Like most parents, we want our kids to maximize their God-given potential. Thus, we’re constantly making decisions with each child’s future in mind. Even if you aren’t a big chess fan, you can still make strategic decisions today that will help set your kids up with winning outcomes down the road. Here are 3 present moves that set up your kids’ future.

In chess, the end goal is to outmaneuver the opponent’s pieces and immobilize their king. All my moves must support that goal. There’s no space for wasted moves, and every decision has a purpose. It’s always easier to make future moves when I am clear on my mission. In parenting, that means identifying who you want your kids to become, what you want your child’s future to be, and what it will take to get them there.

If I want my kids to be well-rounded, I can’t just push them into one activity. They need to try lots of hobbies. If I want them to be contributors, not just consumers, I must squelch any selfishness I see in them. Identifying and knowing the goal for your kids, based on your family values, is crucial. It will inform your moves as a dad. We must have an idea of where the finish line is while we’re racing. Blindly guessing gets you beat in chess and leads to frustration as a dad.

When I was drafted by the Chargers, Jackie was 38 weeks pregnant. We packed up and moved to Orange County with a lot of uncertainty. We didn’t have any friends or family and didn’t even know where we would be living for that season. But my new teammates and their families stepped in, and my wife made friends quickly. It was an answered prayer for us. Having others around to talk with and lean on was critical at that point in our lives. Just like all the pieces on the chess board help each other, we see something similar in life.

In the same way pawns guard bishops and the rooks patrol with the knights, surrounding yourself with solid people makes you stronger. One thing I say often is that if you want to go fast, go alone—but if you want to go far, go together. Find people you can lean on, like friends, neighbors, coworkers, church buddies, mentors to name a few. For me, that’s been fellow NFL guys like Nick Vigil, Carson Wentz, James Winchester, Samaje Perine, and others. Find your life teammates, because a life lived in community is the best way to live.

There are moments during chess matches when the move I expected to work gets shut down by my opponent. I’ve learned it’s OK to pivot. I’ve made mistakes as a dad that require adjustments, too. The path to your desired end goal for your child’s future isn’t always straight and clear.

To figure out what’s working and what isn’t, you have to be in constant communication with your kids. One way Jackie and I try to accomplish this is through family dinners. Early in our parenting journey, Jackie emphasized that she wanted to prioritize family meals together. During these meals, we love to check in with one another doing activities like “crowns and thorns,” or the day’s highs and lows. We learn a lot from our kids through this small but consistent avenue of communication. If we need to pivot in our decision-making, we do, keeping our clear end goal in mind.