Behind the glamorous façade of her corporate PR career, Sarah Lloyd was grappling with a profound internal struggle, marked by heavy daily drinking, crippling anxiety, burnout, and a pervasive sense of shame. Unbeknownst to her colleagues and friends, who saw her as vivacious and the life of every social event, Ms. Lloyd believes her reliance on alcohol was intricately linked to living with undiagnosed autism or AuDHD.

Ms. Lloyd, 48, explained that drinking initially served as a coping mechanism—a way to 'fit in' and 'let go,' to block out her feelings and navigate social interactions. She described having 'no off switch,' continuing until money ran out or she was ejected from venues. It was during peri-menopause that she had a pivotal realization: many of her long-standing behaviors and communication styles were not merely high-functioning anxiety but indicative of something deeper. She admitted using alcohol to overcome awkwardness, often taking things literally, struggling with humor, saying yes to everything without boundaries, and feeling devastated by changed plans.

While not formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist, Ms. Lloyd’s self-reported symptoms strongly align with autism and ADHD, often co-occurring as AuDHD. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition present from birth, existing on a spectrum, with individuals experiencing varying degrees of support needs. ADHD, another form of neurodivergence, manifests as restlessness, forgetfulness, and anxiety. Both conditions have historically been significantly underdiagnosed in women, leading to a recent surge in middle-aged women seeking formal diagnoses, thereby increasing pressure on diagnostic services like the NHS. Figures from December 2024 revealed over 224,000 people on the autism assessment waiting list in England.

Ms. Lloyd's journey through her 30s and early 40s saw her drinking peak. She relied on alcohol to endure high-pressure workdays, consuming a drink most evenings and bingeing on weekends merely to feel 'normal.' This period carried significant personal costs, including lost friends and potential partners due to her intoxicated behavior, often followed by panicked texts and forgotten conversations. Despite her outward success, her mental state was a constant 'rollercoaster.'

Even with alcohol, social situations remained challenging and unpredictable. Ms. Lloyd recalled either being 'the life and soul' or withdrawing abruptly from plans or gatherings. She felt consistently uncomfortable in her own skin, never truly fitting in, leading her to mimic others and constantly fear being 'found out.'

Her path to sobriety began in 2015, following the birth of her second child. This period brought on severe, crippling panic attacks and anxiety, leaving her desperate for solutions. When conventional treatments like antidepressants and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) proved ineffective, she explored alternative therapies. This led her to reiki, a Japanese stress reduction technique involving 'laying hands over the body' to balance 'life force energy,' which devotees claim promotes healing and relaxation.

The experience with reiki proved transformative. After attending the Mind Body Spirit Festival in London in 2017, Ms. Lloyd made a drastic career change, leaving her corporate job to retrain as a reiki practitioner. She described this shift as 'someone had switched a light on inside me,' bringing a sense of peace and calm she had never experienced before. Despite having a successful global career, a marriage, and two small children, she had been struggling profoundly, at one point drinking a bottle of wine nightly and spending around £50 a week on alcohol. She recognized that her previous leaning towards a spiritual way of life had been suppressed until traditional methods failed.

Today, Sarah Lloyd is alcohol-free, grounded, and dedicated to helping other women share their stories, notably through her 'Shame-Less Stories' podcast. She no longer views her past struggles as weaknesses but rather as challenges faced without the necessary language or awareness. She affirms: 'I've learned that understanding myself – my mind, my body, and my patterns – has been far more powerful than any drink ever was. Now I face life with clarity, not a bottle, and that freedom is priceless.'