We spend most of our lives waiting.

Waiting for school to end. Waiting for work to start. Waiting for the money to come. Waiting for someone to love us properly. Waiting for a moment that feels big enough, worthy enough or safe enough to finally start living.

It’s a quiet and almost invisible kind of waiting. We treat happiness like it’s something that can only be unlocked by circumstance, as though life is a game and the next level will finally bring peace. But the secret no one tells you when you’re busy preparing for “someday” is that tomorrow has a way of moving its own goalpost. Every time you reach it, it takes one slow step backward, just out of reach again.

It’s not just an individual problem; it’s cultural, generational, and very much human. Many of us have been taught that joy must be earned, that comfort must be deserved and that the life we want is a distant thing we’ll arrive at if we just keep pushing. And so we always run forward, never fully there. We scroll through social media, watching others post polished versions of their lives and thinking, “one day, that’ll be me”. We measure our progress against timelines and invisible competitions. And slowly, without noticing, we start postponing our right to feel alive and saving joy for a time that may never come.

The Myth of Arrival

We all carry a secret picture in our minds, an image of “arriving.” It might be graduating from the university, getting a certain job, marrying the right person, buying a car, moving abroad or owning a home. Whatever the milestone is, we imagine that once it happens, everything will finally click and life will make sense.

But, anyone who’s ever arrived knows that there’s no such place. The simple truth is, after every arrival comes another destination. You finish school like you dreamed, but then the job hunt begins. You get the job, then the pressure to do well is mounted. You fall in love, and soon you’re learning that love itself is work.

Turns out, fulfillment isn't at the end of the road, it lies somewhere along it. Sadly, we rarely pause long enough to notice.

Nowadays, we have accepted the mindset that the process is only worthwhile for the result it produces. And the tragedy of this is that it conditions us to treat life as preparation for life, taking every stage as a rehearsal for the next.

When you’re young, you think adulthood will bring freedom. When you’re grown, you long for the simplicity of youth. When you’re single, you wait for a partner to make you whole. When you’re in a relationship, you crave space. When does it end? The goalpost keeps shifting, always just ahead, and promising happiness as a reward for patience.

But, life doesn’t hand out joy as a trophy. It offers it as a daily invitation, but it is one many of us are too busy to accept.

The Culture of Waiting

Across much of Africa, this mindset has cultural roots. We are a continent raised on hope, trained to look ahead and to dream of “better days.”

It’s an act of faith and survival, the belief that the hardship of now is temporary and one day, with hard work and grace, life will finally unfold into ease. But while that hope has kept us resilient, it has also taught us to postpone joy. We are experts at enduring, sometimes at the expense of enjoying. We glorify struggle and abhor rest, as though relaxation were rebellion. Parents raise children to focus on the future and instructors praise those who sacrifice the now, everyone with the idea that contentment means complacency.

This culture isn’t just personal, it also shapes how Africans think. Down to our music, movies and humor, there's always a sense of longing for what’s next. Yet, the cost of constant anticipation is subtle erosion of savoring the ordinary. We lose the ability to recognize joy when it doesn’t come wrapped in dramatics. And we turn up our noses at those who seem content, as if peace in the present were a sign of low ambition or unseriousness.

Everyday Delays

It’s easy to think this is just about the big things, but the truth is, our waiting seeps into the smallest parts of daily life.

It's in those times when we save outfits for special occasions that never quite come. When we wait to buy flowers until we have someone to impress. When we keep beautiful dishes for guests and use the chipped ones for ourselves. When we wait to take pictures when we travel, ignoring the beauty around us now. The list is infinite.

We even delay simple pleasures of life like dancing, going out and saying what we really mean, because we’re waiting for the perfect timing. But perfection is a myth. The idea that you must fix everything before enjoying anything is the biggest lie that adulthood sells.

Joy doesn’t need optimal conditions, it needs permission, to laugh even when you’re not in the mood, to eat something nice even if the day's been unpleasant, to wear your favorite perfume on an ordinary workday.

Choose to enjoy the present, even in a world that constantly tells you to wait for the future. You may not realize it now, but these ordinary days are the very ones you’ll later call “the good old days.”

The Beauty of Now

There is something innately beautiful about pausing to notice what’s in the now. The beauty of now rarely announces itself, it hides in the simple. We often expect joy to arrive with grand gestures, but real joy lives in the in-between moments. Romanticizing life doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect, it means learning to find beauty and satisfaction in the imperfection. It’s not about escaping reality but about seeing it with gentler, happier eyes.

When you stop waiting for the future to start living, you begin to notice how lively the present already is.

Across Africa, this kind of mindfulness isn’t exactly foreign, it’s just been buried beneath survival. In many traditional communities, people still live by these simple rhythms, living lives that unfold communally, not competitively. And maybe that’s what we need to return to, to that simple pace, to a life measured not by what’s next, but by what’s now.

Living Before Later

At the end of the day, life is not waiting for us to arrive. It is moving quietly and relentlessly, while we chase the next thing. Every moment we delay joy, we lose a piece of ourselves to a future that may never come.

We often think that living fully means achieving everything on our list. But maybe it simply means being present and learning to inhabit the seemingly imperfect life we have.

Because the truth is, most of the moments we’re waiting for are already here, they're just smaller, quieter and less filtered.

Life is not a test run for the future. So take the picture. Wear the outfit. Light the candle. Say the kind word. Celebrate whatever you think is worth it. Always be grateful for your now.

Because, if you keep waiting for tomorrow to feel alive, you might wake up one day and realize that tomorrow was here all along.

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