Tamagotchi Plaza is the latest in attempting a video game adaptation for the popular toy tech. The Nintendo Switch 2 Edition reviewed here actually comes with its own bells and whistles compared to the standard Switch release. The graphics look sharper, although it’s not a graphics-intensive game in the slightest. Additionally, there is some well-intentioned, albeit sloppy, use of the Joy-Con 2’s mouse functionality. This is definitely an example of early and haphazardly designed Switch 2 software that doesn’t quite know how to make use of the system yet, but hey, it tries.

One thing to note is that this is a game for children, and yet, even tempering my expectations for the intended audience, I can’t help but point out just how short the experience falls in terms of its intended gameplay design. The game doesn’t have any of the pet-rearing fundamentals of the keychain. In fact, hardly any of the video game adaptations ever did, because, you know, they want kids to buy lots of keychains. The video game adaptation at best brings popular character designs into full 3D and places them into uniquely awkward situations. Tamagotchi Plaza is not quite a virtual pet game, nor is it a cozy game. Instead, it’s a collection of mini-games based on part-time jobs, so it’s quite literally a plaza of short-lived careers.

The basic premise is bizarre and, quite frankly, frightening for a kids’ game, as the player character is literally abducted and kidnapped from Earth and taken to Tamagotchi Planet against their own will, and then forced into menial labor by the clearly megalomaniacal prince. It’s wrong on so many levels, and it would have been fine if the odd jobs were at least fun, but sadly, they’re not.

Not only is the basic setup and premise fundamentally flawed for a kids’ game, but even the so-called job mini-games aren’t entirely designed for the intended player base. None of the jobs are explained very well, and even adult players will need to do a bit of trial and error to figure out the basic controls and objectives. And once things are figured out, the actual gameplay loop is sheer tedium and no reward. Games are designed to enhance a child’s motor skills and hand-eye coordination, but the activities featured here fail to achieve this goal.

To be fair, there is a decent variety in the gameplay offering as each of the mini-games occurs as ill-advised career choices and/or activities at several locations. These locations include six different shops, such as a manga store and a galette shop. Beyond these shops are a gym, a dentist, a swimming pool, and even a venue for rap battles, of course.

Many of the activities share a similar premise, as players essentially pick and match the correct objects. It’s a simple enough exercise for the younger player, and some of the activities can be more interesting than others, such as working at the dentist or even busting tables at the pool club. Some are just jarring and weird, like the one where players are expected to produce a manga literally on the spot using just vague cues from the customer. Then again, if you’ve read about the appalling work conditions in the manga industry, then this mini-game isn’t too far-fetched. You can even conduct an eye exam and prescribe glasses. What child doesn’t dream of becoming an optometrist when they grow up?

To give some props, the game is put together nicely in terms of visuals. The menus are simple and clean, and there are some neat little touches, such as a smartphone that can be customized and also keeps track of different stories and events. The graphics are bright and colorful, which is what you’d expect from a Tamagotchi game. Map navigation is fine, except the hub world is quite bland and can be an absolute slog to traverse, especially since there’s not a whole lot to do in it.

Tamagotchi Plaza is an unremarkable game. It’s far from a cozy experience, and the mini-games are rarely fun or intuitive. Even for the intended younger crowd, this is not a great experience for them. Things are vaguely explained and even once they make sense, the activities are just not compelling or stimulating. This is a great game to ruin a child’s imagination and tarnish any career aspirations they might have had.