Poy Erram, once known as a gentle giant, has faced a tumultuous journey marked by emotional outbursts and controversies. Despite being approachable off the court, he transformed into a player prone to tantrums and altercations, leaving many to wonder what triggered this change. Erram attributes his behavior to pent-up emotions stemming from the pressure to win and personal struggles at home.

Erram's basketball career began with limited playing time at Ateneo and an initial rejection from TNT. The expectations mounted when he joined Blackwater and later NLEX, where he was envisioned as the team's star big man. The pressure intensified when he joined TNT, tasked with being the final piece of a championship-caliber team.

"Kung titingnan mo history ko as a basketball player, nung Ateneo, hindi naman ako masyado naglalaro," Erram shared on the Locked Down podcast. He explained that he didn't feel pressure early in his career and simply went with the flow. However, as expectations increased, he struggled to find outlets for his emotions, especially after moving to Manila and lacking a reliable support system.

Erram's inability to process his emotions led to on-court incidents, including a fight in a preseason match and public displays of frustration. A notable incident involved punching NorthPort import Michael Qualls, contributing to his team's upset in a crucial quarterfinal game. Outbursts at TNT further highlighted his struggles, resulting in ejections and conflicts with teammates and coaches.

"So ako, alam ko nang may nararamdaman ako, hindi ko ma-explain kung ano yung nararamdaman ko. wala rin akong makausap. So kinikimkim ko lang siya lahat," Erram admitted. The mounting pressure to win, combined with personal problems, created a breaking point.

Erram hesitated to share his struggles, fearing judgment and the perception of weakness. "Takot ako magsabi kasi baka sabihin nila na, ‘Ah, mahina ka,’ ‘Para ka namang hindi basketball player eh. Hindi mo kaya yung mga ganyan,’" he explained. He eventually found solace in his wife, Jerrylee, although initially he struggled to open up to her.

In 2019, while with NLEX, Erram reached a crisis point, feeling "emptiness and anger" that led to a suicide attempt. He ended up in a hospital after an overdose, a period when his wife was pregnant with their eldest daughter. This event served as a wake-up call, prompting him to prioritize communication and rely on his wife for support.

Erram emphasized the importance of expressing pent-up emotions and seeking help when needed. He began communicating openly with his wife and sought professional help. The trade to TNT brought added pressure, leading to renewed emotional episodes and further reinforcing the need for therapy.

Erram's journey towards recovery involves weekly therapy sessions and a commitment to open communication. He encourages others to share their struggles and seek help before reaching a breaking point. "Para alam din ng mga tao para if ever may nararamdaman sila, hindi nila itago. Kung gawin nila akong example, okay lang. ma-share nila sa ibang tao. Na wag nila akong tularan na baka dumating pa sa point na too late na. Ako muntik na," he stated.