Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious ointment upon the head that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; as the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore (Psalm 133).

God delights in the peaceful co-existence of all men, especially those who are called by His name. Howbeit, the Bible is vast regarding the way individuals should relate with one another regarding handling offences. One outstanding fact about life is that wherever people co-exist offences must come.

“Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence comes,” Matthew 18: 7.

Looking at the preceding verses — (Matthew 18:1): “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’” Here, you will assume a critical supposedly silent war among the disciples of Jesus; suggestively, it was bordering on leadership, which indeed has remained the cause of many wars among individuals, families, communities and nations; shockingly more so, among religious leaders ‘even professing Christians.’

James 4:1-2; reads: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire, but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

When people desire one leadership position or other things and it is not given, they are offended; and resort to causing offences.

1 Corinthians 3:1-10, says: “And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. 2: I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. 3: For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? 4: For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal? 5: Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? 6: I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. 7: So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. 8: Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. 9: For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building. 10: According to the grace of God, which is given unto me, as a wise master builder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.”

In the above scripture; you discover that another reason offence happens among people, especially Christians, which is still leadership related. When people who are supposed to walk as a team begin to treat their leaders differently and not equally based, but on tribal affiliation, spiritual gifts and divergent administrative responsibilities by according them with more or less values; dichotomy is created and offences erupt.

• Deal with offences like a child would deal with it. If offences make you cry, please cry; if it makes you shout, please shout; if it makes you angry, please be angry, but do not sin; don’t pretend about offences. Unexpressed emotion could amount to pretence; which could lead to trauma and more devastating situation. (Matt 18:2-6), no matter how children react when they are offended, they never hold on to grudges or offences. They let it go; they forget it all most immediately.

“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord,” Romans 12:17-19.

•The Ven. Stephen Wolemonwu is Rector, The Ibru international Ecumenical Centre, Agbarha-Otor,Delta State(08035413812)