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Ceremony at Pinelawn Memorial Park offers people way to mourn loved ones

Published 12 hours ago3 minute read

The warm glow from dozens of tea lights illuminated a fountain at Pinelawn Memorial Park at twilight during a reflective ceremony honoring lost loved ones Saturday.

About 150 people gathered at the cemetery in Pinelawn for the event, decorating white lanterns and setting them in the fountain while their family members’ names were read aloud.

This year marks the fifth annual lantern release at the cemetery, giving Long Islanders a way to channel their grief and share stories with others. The tradition began during the pandemic, when many missed opportunities to grieve and get closure with funerals and burials put on hold, said Christin Alexander, community outreach coordinator at Pinelawn.

“A lot of families didn’t get to say goodbye,” Alexander said. “They’re releasing their grief, they’re releasing their emotions. It’s really, really moving.”

As they bobbed on the water, messages on each lantern ranged from simply "We miss you" and hearts to sentimental photo collages and intricately sketched sunsets and rainbows.

Naomi Sjögren traveled from the Bronx to pay tribute to her family’s matriarch, Juanita Rivera, who was interred at the park last September.

Rivera, who was 75, was born in Puerto Rico and moved to New York with her parents at 5 years old, Sjögren said. She eventually raised her own family — five daughters — in the Bronx as a single mother, her daughter said.

Ruth Camacho, left, and her sister Naomi Sjögren, right, both of...

Ruth Camacho, left, and her sister Naomi Sjögren, right, both of the Bronx, place a lantern into the fountain at Pinelawn Memorial Park in memory of their mother, Juanita Rivera on Saturday evening. Credit: Newsday / Steve Pfost

“She did the best for us. She was my best friend,” Sjögren said. “They say when you die, leave the world a little better. Well, she did that. She raised amazing women.”

Nearby, her great-nieces adorned a lantern with a photo of Juanita sipping coffee, writing messages like “#BestGrammy and “Sleep in peace."

“It helps just to know that there’s other people that are sad,” Sjögren said. “I feel like I’m not alone.”

Across the fountain, Crystal Vitaliano, of Mahopac, paid tribute to her daughter, Jackie, who died in 2006 at just 11 years old from a congenital heart disease.

Her lantern featured a pink butterfly symbolizing new life and heart with a zipper — a nod to her daughter’s childhood nickname for her chest scar.

“It’s me fighting for her,” Vitaliano said. “I’m saying: ‘You’re not forgotten. I will always, always keep your memory alive and we’ll keep persevering.”

Susan Capurso, an end-of-life doula from Holtsville, spoke about finding mindful moments of beauty — a morning sunbeam, a cup of warm tea, a toddler’s laugh — despite grief.

“They don’t erase our grief, nothing can do that, but they remind us that life still contains wonder even when we mourn,” Capurso said.

The memorial park, which spans more than 500 acres, has sought to transcend just being a final resting place. It holds several events throughout the year, including candlelight vigils, ladybug releases and peaceful tours.

“The cemetery doesn’t have to be a scary place,” Alexander said. “It’s a place where we can come and extend that celebration of life.”

Hundreds more are expected to take part in a second lantern release ceremony planned for Sunday at 7 p.m.

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