Reality TV star and presenter Ashley James has ignited a significant debate after openly sharing her complex feelings about motherhood, admitting to 'mourning' aspects of her 'child-free life' despite profoundly loving her two children, Alfie and Ada, with partner Tommy Andrews. Her candid Instagram post, which quickly went viral, highlighted the often unspoken struggles and conflicting emotions experienced by many mothers.

James revealed that her career provides her 'the deepest sense of fulfilment,' a sentiment she placed above her role as a mother, though she swiftly clarified she would 'never, ever wish my kids away.' She expressed a longing for the simpler days of her child-free life, recalling 'weekends of doing nothing but brunch, laundry, tidying the house and binge-watching TV,' and even fantasizing about the luxury of waking up naturally. A key point of her post was admitting to feeling 'overloaded with the endless invisible labour and mental load' of motherhood, lamenting the exhaustion that leaves her with 'nothing left for myself.' She also articulated a common frustration among mothers, stating, 'I resent that dads get praised for doing the bare minimum whilst mums are expected to do it (and get judged for it). '

Despite these admissions, Ashley James concluded her post by reaffirming her deep love for her children, calling being their mum 'the greatest privilege' and acknowledging that they have given her 'more empathy and love and purpose than anything in the world.' She further elaborated in her caption on the societal pressures faced by women, noting, 'Some women love parenting and wish they could be at home full-time. Others find more fulfilment in their careers. Both choices deserve support. The real problem is the guilt women are made to feel either way.' She criticised the dated expectations placed on mothers, stating, 'I was called selfish when I said I didn’t want children. And now I’m called selfish for wanting a life outside of my children.' She urged for these 'expectations out of the 1950s' to be updated.

As predicted, her post drew a polarized response. Critics expressed difficulty relating, with one commenter writing, 'When I had kids, that’s when my life began. That’s when I felt there was meaning to life...' and questioning the notion of envying a child-free life while loving one's children. Another stated they couldn't relate, finding more fulfilment in motherhood than career. Conversely, many praised James for her honesty and courage, seeing her post as a vital step in breaking down the 'judgment wrapped around motherhood.' Supporters acknowledged that 'every woman’s journey is entirely unique' and that there is 'no single right way to be a mother,' thanking her for voicing sentiments many mothers 'fear saying.'