May’s subsequent poor game against Port Adelaide, when his opponent Mitch Georgiades kicked seven goals, means the focus is now on May.

Externally, his actions were defended and excused – by Gawn most of all – although Melbourne coach Simon Goodwin admitted he had to sit the pair down after they had addressed it themselves and that he also raised the issue with the group.

“We are always going to be all good. I have got a lot of respect for him, and he has respect for me,” Gawn told Triple M the next day.

According to competition sources who wished to remain anonymous to speak freely, some of May’s teammates are looking hard at the senior coach to ensure the star defender is kept to the same level of accountability for his on-field actions as everyone else, particularly after entering the season with so much talk about connection and love.

Two competition sources, who preferred to remain anonymous, said what happened on the field in the fortnight before the bye should have been a reality check for May, who politely declined an interview for this article.

Many are watching how good a teammate he can be as his team’s season hangs in the balance, and as he takes on the opponent the Suns nabbed with the draft pick they received in the May trade – Ben King.

The veteran’s approach is also a challenge for Goodwin as he looks to shift the on-field dynamic. It’s hard to imagine the Brisbane Lions, Collingwood, Geelong or Hawthorn copping any ill-timed feedback to their skipper when they were at their best.

Former Demons coach and Sydney premiership coach Paul Roos said while he had no sense of the scenario involving May, a general principle always applied.

Loading

“My philosophy has always been to set standards and then everyone adheres to them. If you have any other philosophy it becomes way more complicated; players can lose trust in the coaches, lose trust in each other if you are not holding everyone to the same standards,” Roos said.

May has won a premiership, been twice All-Australian, and finished top 10 in the best and fairest in all but his first season at Melbourne.

The strong, ultra-competitive backman has won his team games with his intercept marking, penetrating kicking and ability to dominate the best key forwards. Only 13 other players have averaged more intercept marks and intercept possessions over the past decade.

May’s overall numbers in 2025 remain reasonable, albeit less consistent game to game. The Demons’ defensive ranking, in terms of points against, is the worst it’s been since 2019.

Brisbane Lions premiership star and Brownlow medallist Jason Akermanis eventually wore out his welcome at the Lions, his direct, outspoken and often brutally honest approach harder to bear as the team slipped out of premiership contention. By the end of 2006 he had left for the Bulldogs.

May has enough credits in the bank to keep him some way from the tipping point “Aker” reached, but such experiences are salutary lessons for players who push the boundaries.

Many who know May well admire him for the way he has carved out such a good career, and are defensive of him. They know he can be good company off the field and at his best is warm, friendly and articulate when making his point. But they also know his forthright views can be tiring.

Another competition source who wanted to remain anonymous said May’s frustrations were probably boiling to the surface as age had robbed him of just an inch of his closing speed, with the plantar fasciitis issues that hampered him in the pre-season and the first five games compounding those issues.

The same person said May’s major post-bye objective should be to be a good teammate, develop key defender Daniel Turner and support emerging players such as premiership teammate Jake Bowey, Blake Howes, Caleb Windsor and Judd McVee.

Roos said that didn’t mean playing without passion, or avoiding hard conversations if required. Nor did it mean coaches needed to quell demonstrative personalities.

“People say there are no characters in the game but when we are talking about standards we are saying what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for our 44 players, and then we reward and challenge,” Roos said.

“Individuality, mucking around at training or having a good time [is fine].

Loading

“There are always characters in footy. Then no matter whether it is the straightest guy on your list or the most wayward you try to treat them the same way.”

May, a talented golfer who has also trained as a pilot, is not silly. He has provided great service to Melbourne, but on-field outbursts that he is capable of can be exhausting and less easy to tolerate when form dips.

He returns to his old backyard on the Gold Coast with his own backyard needing some attention.

Keep up to date with the best AFL coverage in the country. Sign up for the Real Footy newsletter.