Is it possible to keep a marriage together, let alone happy, when you disagree about important topics? A recent study by Wakefield Research found that 11% of Americans have ended a romantic relationship due to political differences. And 22% of millennials have broken up because political tension was too high. And that’s just politics. That doesn’t include things like parenting styles, how to handle money, faith tradition and, perhaps most importantly, rival sports teams. OK, just kidding about that last one… mostly.

Many of us find difference attractive when we’re dating (hence the saying “opposites attract”), but give it a few years after marriage, and suddenly, what you once turned you on is now driving you nuts. Is it possible to keep your commitment strong when you have strong differences in marriage? I say yes. It’s not easy, but if handled well, it can create an environment where you’re both growing in understanding and empathy. Here are five essentials to navigating different perspectives in marriage.

One of the problems with our opinions is that we often hold them strongly without examining them thoroughly. Psychiatrist Curt Thompson says, “We sense things, then we make sense of them.” In other words, we often form our opinions based on what feels right to us. This can create a strong emotional reaction to disagreement.

But what if you were to approach your differences in marriage with curiosity? The fact is we are all wrong about some things. We just don’t know which ones. So why not acknowledge that and get curious about why your wife believes what she does? Where did she learn that? What motivates her to care so deeply? Has she considered other arguments? In the process you might learn she’s thought through some of these things more than you’ve given her credit for…maybe even more than you have.

Humility and curiosity go hand in hand. You can’t genuinely be curious about something if you assume you know everything. One of the problems with how we approach differences in marriage is that we often think that being wrong is the same as losing.

But what if, instead you believed that being wrong is inevitable? If that’s the case then having a wife who sees things differently can be an incredible gift. She can challenge you to rethink strongly held opinions that you might be wrong on and because she loves you, it should be a safe place to learn and grow.

Even significant differences in marriage around things such as politics and faith are not insurmountable if you’re able to establish common ground. For example, my wife and I have very different views on certain political matters, however I know my wife is a loving, kind, compassionate human who thinks the best way to work that out politically is different from the way I think is best. I can disagree with how she wants to see it get worked out and appreciate the values she holds dear.

Oftentimes, we mistake differences in how we express our values as character flaws in our spouse. But it’s quite likely that beneath the differences lies the character traits that you fell in love with. In fact, the real character flaw might be conflating how she votes or spends her money with whether or not she’s thoughtful or trustworthy.

It’s remarkable how much easier it is to discuss your differences in marriage than it is to build on your similarities. The differences annoy us and we struggle to let them go. Sometimes our fixation on the differences reveals a need to be in control or an unhealthy fixation on a particular area.

What you need to do is find a common interest. Undoubtedly there are things you and your wife share an interest in, even if it’s just your kids. So start there. Set aside the things that annoy you and focus on what you can do well together. Look for ways to affirm and encourage her in that area. As you do, it’s likely that you’ll begin to remember the things you actually love about your wife and hold those disagreements a bit more loosely.

This is huge for politics, but it also lines up in other areas as well. It’s now possible to find people who agree with us on all of the things we think and then continue to feed our certainty by just taking in their content constantly via podcasts, dedicated cable shows, social media, etc. As we do this our world shrinks but our ego grows.

When you and your wife are butting heads about an issue, I’d encourage you to consider backing off your media consumption. Spend more time with your wife doing things you enjoy together than with some millionaire podcaster who is getting rich off your anger. The truth is, if you change your habits of consumption over the course of a couple of months, you’ll develop new habits. If those habits are focused on building relationship with your wife, you’ll likely end up just as informed, far less arrogant and quite a bit happier.