There are 3 things you need to do well to be successful on the meadow. If you can do one, you will play well. If you can do two, you will be great. If you can pull off all three, you will triumph. Players who naturally have a low center of gravity will be rewarded. That’s one. Players like me who keep their heads in the clouds won’t. Despite grass courts having become slower in the last decade or so, the ball still slides through when it hits the blades. The more you bend your knees, the better you will play. The problem with bending your knees leads to point two. Bending your knees more than you usually would restricts your movement from side to side. Try running as fast you can and now try to do it while bending your knees more than you usually would. Hard, right? So, movement is essential. That’s why Novak Djokovic is one of the best when it comes to lawn tennis. On first glance, his game shouldn’t work as well but he moves on grass like he does on any other surface and that gives him the advantage over players like me who either slip every time the try to sprint or break a hip every time they try to change directions.

Lastly, and that’s the third and maybe most important point, the more chaos you can create on grass the more it will love you. Sascha Bublik comes to mind, of course, who’s just won Halle and whose name nobody wants to see near them in the Wimbledon draw. Marketa Vondrousova out-chaosed Aryna Sabalenka in the semis of Berlin. Short slices, drop shots, casual volleys.

I know that Finite Jest readers are smart and are asking themselves, why the hell does Novak play so well then? His tennis is everything but chaos. Well, chaos has as many forms as the devil. It might be the crush and rush and net attacks but it might just as well be changing from cross-courts to down-the-lines when your opponent least expects it. That’s where Novak is the master.

Either way, lawn tennis requires a skill set of its own. One I personally never managed to acquire. But I’m not a jealous person. I can give credit where credit’s due and I do look forward to Wimbledon. My favourite thing about racquet sports on meadows is the sound. The faintest of plops, a soft whoosh, the players’ breaths of exhaustion and that’s it. That’s all you will hear. In an over stimulated world where a second of nothing, a moment without phone, a blink of boredom becomes a daring adventure, lawn tennis can be the anti-dote we need.

Why not close your eyes and meditate while listening to the gentle sounds of shot-making? Closing your eyes also helps when somebody like me is attempting to play on grass. Basically, close your eyes!

I was the Director of Excitement at last week’s Berlin Tennis Open and that title in itself made me very happy. Trying to make a tennis tournament a place where people want to hang out is a daring task but a fruitful one I think. What really makes me happy, though, is that we stayed in a super fancy hotel and on my first night spent there I got myself a Doner Kebab from the train station (I know, terrible) and ate it in my luxury room. Eating cheap, delicious food in luxurious spaces strangely makes me happy.

In my function as Director of Excitement last week I conducted some of the on-court interviews with players. I had the pleasure to interview Wang Xin Yu after her semifinal win. She was hilarious, witty, smart. She had better jokes up her sleeve than most of the comedians on Netflix right now. The WTA, however, posted an edited clip of her answers on their social media that made her sound like EVERY. OTHER. TENNIS. PLAYER. OUT. THERE. The one thing she said about not expecting to be in the final is what they decided to post while all the personality and humour got edited out. These are things that drive me insane as the players’ distinct personality makes the individual sport of tennis so special. Showcasing (!!) that personality for everyone to see, though, should be the logical first step. Not editing it out.

It’s Monday, I know. I missed my deadline on Friday and I hope you can forgive me. As yet another Grand Slam tournament is just around the corner, the next few Finite Jests will continue to slide into your inbox on Mondays, just like Novak Djokovic slides on grass. See you soon!

Yours truly, Andrea