“Most events recorded in history are more remarkable than important, like eclipses of the sun and moon, by which all are attracted, but whose effects no one takes the trouble to calculate.” —

Tell me you’re all watching this eagle family’s saga unfold? The Truman Show, produced by National Geographic? Hayes’s class has been tracking them in the library since they hatched—three healthy babies (after past losses). He comes home with daily updates. The fifth graders are in awe of Jackie, the devoted mother shielding them through rain and snow.

But nature is the cruelest storyteller.

I’m never doing this again—tracking wildlife live. Waking up to find one of the eaglets mysteriously missing from the nest this weekend was brutal. The frantic online scramble began immediately—women dissecting every frame, desperate for answers. Was it the blackbird intruder? Did a stronger sibling push it out? Was the poor thing frozen, starved, murdered?

Latest evidence suggests the third baby was likely pierced accidentally by a parent’s claw during the storm—a devastating twist for us emotionally invested viewers. I saw women in the comments fall apart: praying, cursing, crying. Mothers mourn for mothers. I hate to imagine the update for the fifth graders tomorrow.

I never thought I’d wake up on a perfectly lovely Saturday, paralyzed with grief over an eaglet’s death—but such is eclipse season.

The moon in transition took over my feed last week. Every scroll was a reminder: let go, set intentions, brace for unexpected endings. I could write a novel about how it relates to my personal timeline, but I mostly refrained from self-reflection and indulged in mindless scrolling instead.

White Lotus started slow, but Parker Posey’s fabulous kaftans and slurry lorazepam reactions have us hooked—a good reminder that Hollywood always finds a way to resurrect old icons. Bless Mike White for bringing her back into our lives.

Speaking of familiar faces—did anyone else notice how much Patrick Schwarzenegger resembles his second cousin RFK? Glossy-eyed, chiseled chin, all those teeth. Kennedy DNA is SO assertive.

On the subject of catastrophic spectacles, Gavin Newsom is on a unity tour to recover from his disastrous fire response. The vehicle? His new podcast: This is Gavin Newsom. The left isn’t happy; but they never are. First, he sat down with Charlie Kirk. Then Steve Bannon. The mastermind behind these pairings? Kimberly Guilfoyle, of course.

She’s been on good terms with Gavin since their split—on good terms with all her exes, actually. Say what you will about the woman: She possesses a brand of Mafia wife loyalty that keeps every man in her life civilly connected.

Meanwhile, liberals are spiraling because Gwen Stefani praised a Tucker Carlson interview.

“Gwen Stefani has once more riled the internet with her latest public image reincarnation, with some accusing her of taking on the role of Christian MAGA loyalist.

On the eve of the deluxe edition of her album Bouquet’s release, Stefani has received a robust bundle of online criticism. The former No Doubt singer recently praised actor Jonathan Roumie for his interview with right-wing talking head Tucker Carlson, leading some online commenters to label her a ‘right-wing grifter.’

‘Wow @JonathanRoumie u r a powerful, inspirational human. What an enlightening, intelligent, beautiful interview. Thank you for being u,’ Stefani wrote in a post on X (formerly Twitter) on March 6, signing it, ‘gx.’”

It took a Tucker clip to send them into a tailspin—as if they hadn’t already pieced it together. She’s a devout Catholic, married to a country star who writes patriotic ballads and drives a tractor.

What did they think was happening?

Democratic ally and Alice + Olivia designer Stacey Bendet might relate. Spotted at an event this month alongside her closest friends—the Hilton Sisters, Bijou Phillips, and Bettina Anderson—I hear she’s adjusting to the notion that her friends (women she respects) support Trump. A good mindset to spread in that social circle. Despite differing political views, they all look identically thin, healthy, and happy in her floral designer dresses.

I missed the coded anon sent by a Palm Beach source three weeks ago about Vanessa Trump dating Tiger Woods. (No, it’s not that new.) Had I not scrolled past the riddled text more carefully that day, I could have surprised you with it then. Either way, they’re a great pair. It’s probably the best thing to happen in golf since…well, awhile.

“Survival was my only hope, success my only revenge.” —

We do love a scandal.

For me, it was quite a week. I went from being slandered in tabloids as a Ghislaine Maxwell fangirl who crashed the White House, to sparking several hate posts on Substack, to being named on Dan Wootton and Glenn Beck’s show, to unexpected dinner host of “disgraced” journalist Olivia Nuzzi.

Her spotting at the storied steakhouse jumped from tabloid headline to Page Six TV breakdown. They dedicated five whole minutes to analyzing the basis of this rekindling.

Regrettably, no one mentioned the obvious: practical Capricorn tendencies balancing out erratic Scorpio proclivities.

A Capricorn raised me. My best friend of 40 years is a Capricorn. Is it so shocking that another found her way into my orbit—to hopefully hinder my irrational desire to lyrically knife anyone who wrongs me in print?

It’s complicated.

The reunion—rife with layers of poetic deviances—involves more than scandal bonding. But it’s better suited for a David Lynch script than a Page Six dissection.

I’ll let her explain.

PP Back Then / PP for GAP

My White House visit, plus the long-awaited takedown of Meghan Markle’s Pam Anderson-rip off cooking show

Inside sources tell me what MM is really like off-screen

Spoiler: Montecito ladies in my inbox are NOT impressed

As Bonus: Ian Caroll discussing the Vegas shooting as discussed earlier