Children favoritism is a topic that many parents shy away from, yet it’s more common than most would like to admit. While most parents insist they love all their children equally, research suggests that some level of favoritism is inevitable. Whether intentional or not, favouring one child over another can have a lasting impact on family relationships and individual well-being.

Children favoritism happens when a parent treats one child differently from their siblings. This might be seen in the form of giving more affection, spending extra time together, or offering greater privileges. Even if parents don’t realise they are favouring one child, children are incredibly perceptive and often notice even small differences in treatment.

Siblings, by nature, compare themselves to one another. If one child feels they are receiving less attention or affection, resentment can build. On the other hand, the favoured child might feel guilty or pressured to live up to high expectations.

Parental favoritism is influenced by several factors, some of which may be beyond a parent’s control. Research has identified common patterns that tend to shape favoritism within families:

A study from Brigham Young University found that parents tend to favour daughters, possibly because they are perceived as easier to parent. However, the same study also suggests that favouritism is not static and can shift over time based on a child’s behaviour and life circumstances.

The effects of children favoritism can be long-lasting. While a favoured child may seem to have an advantage, both favoured and non-favoured children can suffer in different ways.

Effects on the Non-Favoured Child:

Parental favoritism can have serious psychological effects, making it essential for parents to recognise and address it before it becomes a long-term issue.

Parents might not always realise when they are playing favourites. However, since children are sensitive to even small differences, it’s important to be aware and take steps to foster fairness and equality. Here are some ways to prevent favoritism from taking hold in your family:

If your child accuses you of favoritism, one helpful approach is to ask, “What makes you feel that way?” This invites open discussion and helps children process their emotions in a constructive way.

Children favoritism is a complex issue that can affect family dynamics in ways parents may not immediately realise. While it’s natural to connect differently with each child, ensuring every child feels equally loved and valued is crucial. By practicing fairness, listening to your children, and fostering a supportive environment, parents can create a balanced home where each child knows they are cherished. In the end, every child wants to feel special—and with mindful parenting, they all can.

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