In 2023, I was coaching in the minor leagues and our team went on a crazy run near the end of the season where we won 15 games in a row and 17 of our last 19 games. We needed every one of those wins to qualify for the playoffs, which we did on the last day of the season. Every inning mattered, and as the manager, the team looked to me for direction. The end result was great, but it was still a very stressful situation.

In the same way, life can be stressful, and managing it is sometimes difficult. The way you conduct yourself in front of your kids during challenging times is important because they are listening to the words you say and watching the way you respond. Childhood stress is real, and we need to be an example of how to deal with stress well, so we can guide them when they are going through a difficult situation. Here are 3 things to teach your kids about how to deal with stress.

When I coached with the San Francisco Giants, we would bring the players together once per week during spring training to teach them life skills. One meeting I remember vividly was about “controlling the controllables.” The speaker talked to the players about what they can control on the field, like attitude and effort, versus what was out of their control, like a player making a great play on a ball they hit well.

Teaching your kids about what is in their control is huge, especially as they grow up. Things like attitude, effort, emotions, and actions are important attributes for your kids to control. When they are able to do this, it will help them stay levelheaded and make better decisions when they are dealing with stressful situations.

This is something that did not come easy to me. Growing up, I was my own worst critic, and it just got worse when my parents or coaches would come down hard on me. When something good did happen, I would get worried that it wouldn’t last. Instead of focusing on how I could succeed, I focused on how afraid I was to fail.

As a dad, I wanted to change that. I had to work on it, and over time, I saw how words of affirmation and a positive mindset impacted my two boys. Teach your child about being positive when a stressful situation arises and to expect the best outcome. When kids anticipate success, it breeds self-confidence and helps eliminate some childhood stress.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, it can get polarizing, and you can feel out of control if you get hyper-focused on it. When this happens, it’s important to remember times you have overcome difficult situations in the past, which will help you in your present situation.

Teaching your kids how to put things into perspective is an important tool to give them as they grow up. Remind them of a time when they encountered a really stressful situation and how they eventually overcame it. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I believe God is good and trustworthy, so much so that we can be still and trust that He’s going to get us through whatever situation we find ourselves in. If we can practice being still, we’ll stay calm in stressful situations—and if we do this in front of our kids, they’ll learn to do it, too.