They usually have few words in public and will not bother to raise their hand in class or participate in a discussion.

Smart as they are, they take in everything that goes on around them, though they may come across as reserved.

The vast majority of children feel some shyness once in a while anyway.

Shyness can, however, be an issue for children between the ages of 5 and 12 when it becomes pervasive.

It is important to ensure that a child who appears shy is actually not experiencing abuse of any form.

Adverse childhood experiences, including abuse and neglect, should be addressed by multi-professionals to protect the child from danger and to rehabilitate optimally.

Naturally, some children are introverted or whose family dynamics, parental influences and social experiences contribute to their shyness.

Others may be having genuine fears of rejection, judgment and criticism.

In the end, they may have underlying struggles with self-esteem, all the while doubting their abilities and capabilities.

Their anxieties and unspoken inhibitions can paralyse them in social circles, preventing them from fully experiencing the joy and benefits of their interactions, including games and sporting activities.

The good thing about being shy is that such children hardly break school rules or engage in aggressive behaviour.

They will never be found on the other side of the law in school or at home. 

The demerits may, however, outweigh the merits.

Parents, teachers and caregivers must offer help to such children they encounter. 

A hearty conversation about self-consciousness and the anxieties that come with meeting new people can be a great way to start.

Some children may need help to face their fears.

It always helps when adults share their own experiences, too. More often, a few words spoken consistently to boost the child’s confidence are all that is needed.  

Shy children should be encouraged and nudged to ask questions and interact with their peers in school.

Teachers should foster a warm, accepting environment where children can express themselves freely without fear of being judged. 

There should be zero tolerance for bullying.

Children who present themselves as shy should also be deliberately assigned duties and roles and not be neglected or avoided. 

Opportunities to lead draw on their inner qualities.

They may resist, but a lot of encouragement helps. Praise their efforts and celebrate their achievements.

Encourage them to volunteer to help others and to participate in extra-curricular activities where they can join other children with 

common hobbies and interests. This also helps them to break out of their shell.

Mentoring and social skills training are all recommended ways of helping children discover their own strengths and worth.

By role modelling and teaching children effective communication, active-listening and problem-solving skills, they are empowered to deal with social problems that they may encounter among their peers.

When children know how to break away from debilitating shyness, they can become more comfortable in their social environment and that is where they can harness their potential fully. 

The writer is a Child Development Expert/ Fellow at Zero to Three Academy, USA.

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