Mariska Hargitay is making her foray into filmmaking with the release of My Mom Jayne, a documentary chronicling her difficult relationship with American actress and Playboy model Jayne Mansfield, her mother who she barely knew. Mariska, who’s played Olivia Benson in Law and Order: SVU since 1999, reveals in the documentary that she’s spent her entire acting career in her mother’s shadow.

Mariska Hargitay didn’t know her mother very well growing up because Jayne Mansfield died in a car crash when she was just three-and-a-half years old. She herself was a passenger during that accident alongside her siblings Miklós "Mickey" Hargitay, Jr. and Zoltán Hargitay, both of whom survived the crash along with Mariska.

Mariska (left) being held by her mother, Jayne (right) | Credit: Instagram

After the accident, Mariska was raised by Jayne’s ex-husband, Mickey Hargitay, who she believed to be her father. Mickey raised her as his own daughter, and she considered him her “rock”, though she’d later find out that he real biological father was singer Nelson Sardelli. Mariska spent her entire life often subconsciously grappling with her mother’s untimely death and admitted to feeling ashamed about her status as a sex symbol. As she said in an interview with Vanity Fair:

“I just wanted my mom to be like the other moms! Like, Why are you always in a bathing suit? Why so much breast? I just wanted a maternal mother image. I was embarrassed by the choices that she made.”

Mariska claimed that this sense of embarrassment informed her decision to play sports in high school, and fueled her dedication to the role of Law and Order: SVU’s Olivia Benson. Mariska wasn’t blind to the irony of Olivia being idolized as a mother figure: “I’ve had so much strife and turmoil with this word mother—and here I was, this iconic mother figure in the culture. Isn’t that ironic?”

Aside from dealing with her complicated feelings about her mother, Mariska Hargitay also considers the documentary an opportunity to connect with her siblings who she grew up with, as well as her half-siblings from her mother’s various relationships. My Mom Jayne premiered at Cannes on May 17, and will release on HBO Max on June 27.

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