Jeff Hiller is getting candid about his appearance in his new memoir.
In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, the Somebody Somewhere star opened up about the most challenging chapter for him to write in his new book Actress of a Certain Age — and it was about "having no hair and no eyebrows."
According to Hiller, he has frontal fibrosing alopecia, which, according to Cleveland Clinic, "causes hair loss on the front and sides of your scalp" and can "occur on eyebrows, eyelashes and other body parts."
He also has generalized morphea or localized scleroderma, which, is "a rare condition that causes painless, discolored patches on your skin," per Mayo Clinic.
Paras Griffin/Getty
Hiller, 49, was really determined to write a chapter about "morphea and having no hair or no eyebrows."
"What's funny is I thought everyone would be like, 'Oh my God, you're so brave for writing this,' and no one has even mentioned it," he says, noting that his editor thought he didn't necessarily "need" the chapter.
"When I first came out, it was really important for me to tell people I was gay, not because I thought they didn't know, but because I thought they weren't sure if I knew," Hiller added. "And I think I want to get out where I'm like, 'I know I look weird, I've seen that you Googled it, I've talked to these hair and makeup people, I just want you to know I know it, too. So, if you're talking behind my back, I know it.'"
For him, that chapter was also the "hardest" thing to write.
"People get uncomfortable when you say, 'I know I'm not attractive,' but, also, that's not really where I hold myself esteem," says Hiller. "I'm not a young, hot movie star that needs to be f------- to get my next role. So it's not that big of a deal. I know my hair looks weird."
Elsewhere in the conversation, Hiller opened up about finding it "cathartic" to write about his time being bullied as a gay kid in the South.
"I forgave myself a little bit by writing about that, and I have a lot of compassion for my younger self," he told PEOPLE. "When I look at my little fat kid self with my perm from my mom that she gave me in the kitchen, I feel a lot of compassion for myself."
Still, he found it "surprisingly difficult" to write.
"I left out a couple of things that I thought were maybe a little too much," said Hiller.
Actress of a Certain Age is available now, wherever books are sold.
