To watch XO, Kitty as an adult is, at times, to be totally overcome by how messy the Netflix series’ teenage characters are. A spinoff of the To All the Boys movies that follows the youngest Song Covey sister, Kitty (Anna Cathcart), to a prestigious international high school in South Korea, the show leans into the drama of adolescence: complicated romantic feelings, self-discovery, being forced to hang out with people you just can’t stand. It will have you screaming, “DON’T DO THAT,” at your screen, while also reminding you of the many hormone-driven mistakes you made as a teenager—through a pair of rose-coloured glasses, because everything also looks good in the world of XO, Kitty. 

It turns out that playing one of the teen characters as an adult has a similar effect—at least for star Gia Kim. “Their problems may not be life-or-death situations, but, to them, it really feels that grand,” Kim tells ELLE Canada from her home in L.A. “It kind of puts my real-life problems into perspective. And it also brings me back to everything happening around me in high school—my friends, my crushes, my academics, my family. That was my whole life. It brings me comfort that so many people around the world also resonate with these characters, even if they may not be in their exact shoes. It means [we all] go through similar things, anywhere in the world, regardless of background, age and gender.” 

If there’s anyone who understands the messiness of XO, Kitty, it’s Kim, who plays reformed Queen Bee Yuri Han. After struggling with how to come out to her family—and what that could mean for her relationship with her conservative parents—Yuri enters Season 2 of XO, Kitty (which premiered earlier this month) with a sense of lightness. She’s saved newish BFF Kitty’s spot at school, and her long-distance girlfriend, Juliana (Regan Aliyah), is now her on-campus girlfriend (and dormmate). But Yuri’s honeymoon phase doesn’t last long. While helping Kitty dig into her mother’s family history in South Korea, the two share a kiss (Kitty has been harbouring a secret crush on her friend). Guilt-ridden, Yuri starts blowing Kitty off, only for Juliana to find out and break up with her, leaving Yuri desperate for a way to win her first love’s trust back. 

“Yuri doesn’t catch a break,” Kim says. “She was struggling with so much in Season 1—and, obviously, that contributes to her growth as a person, so I appreciate all she goes through, but I feel like if this were to happen in real life and all of these problems compounded in one school year, I would have been like, ‘How do I focus on my studies?!’ Season 2 comes with different struggles—she has Juliana back at school, which she loves and fought for, but now what does she do with having a real-life partner at school and all the problems that come with that? Those are all different new experiences for her, so I tried to approach it in the most intuitive way possible without getting too analytic, otherwise it would just give me a headache.” 

Michael Becker

That go-with-your-gut approach was extra helpful when it came to playing out one of the season’s biggest moments: Yuri and Kitty’s kiss. “I’m just as confused as the character is in the show. Something I told myself in Season 1 while I was in the process of prepping for Yuri—I was getting very frustrated, and very insecure and felt like I didn’t know the character at all, having panic attacks that were like, ‘Oh my god, I don’t feel ready’—was that it’s ok that you’re confused and don’t have everything figured out, because neither does the character. And that’s something I brought with me to Season 2,” Kim says. “Yuri is dealing with and juggling so many things at the same time, and if she drops a ball, that’s ok. That’s part of her process, and it’s very flawed in a human way. I feel like she definitely has feelings for Kitty that she doesn’t realize—she isn’t expecting it, but she’s so vulnerable at this moment and has this love for Kitty, so she took the leap, even though it was bad timing on her part.” 

If messiness is a trait that defines XO, Kitty, it’s not because of the delicious drama that brings—or at least not entirely. Its characters are modern and relatable—unlike many of the teen shows that have defined the last couple of decades (hello, Gossip Girl)—with the story blending popular K-drama tropes (yes, a K-pop exec does show up to school looking to find the next big talent) with wholesome romcom vibes in a way that feels fresh and exciting. And while each character (many of whom are queer) may all have their personal struggles, when they’re together, they’re allowed to be experimental and bold and completely themselves. 

That’s exactly what drew Kim to the show in the first place. “I remember thinking, ‘Wow, I can’t think of anything else that I’ve watched with these kinds of characters in this kind of a show,’” she says. “Personally, I hope [the work] I do pushes the needle, even if it’s a very small amount. That the backdrop is Korea was also an important factor for me. Obviously, I’m Korean, and knowing Korean culture so well—in terms of where it is in its history of gender, equality and all of these things—it’s exciting for me to know that [a show like this] isn’t mainstream in Korea. Even though it’s an American show, the fact that it’s set in Korea is going to mean something to Koreans—it certainly does to me in terms of portraying Korean characters along with [some of my] other cast members. Representation of queer stories is maybe more mainstream in the States, but definitely not so much in other parts of the world, and that’s really meaningful.” 

It’s also why, even though Kim is in her early 30s and spending months at a time back in high school, she couldn’t have asked for a better role for the first big project of her still-blossoming career. “A good teacher of mine once told me that the right role will find you at the right time and place—when you need them, and they need you. I fully, fully believe that. My encounter with Yuri is definitely fated,” she says. “She is unapologetic, and a force of life when she comes into a room. She demands to take up space, which I feel like I wasn’t naturally good at—especially as a woman and as an Asian woman. We’re told to be humble, be quiet, don’t stir the pot, don’t be anything that could stand out. Yuri kind of made me grow in that sense. […] Being an actor, in general, makes me reflect a lot upon myself, how I interact with other people and just being a human in general. It forces you to heal or work through a lot of things, because you have to confront them.”

Michael Becker