Cheshire mum shares alcohol story after launching websites
FROM the outside, businesswoman and Runcorn native Nicky Wake, 53, looked like she was living the dream.
She ran a successful events company, lived in a beautiful home, was happily raising her teenage son, and travelled in style, sipping champagne in business class.
But behind the polished surface, Nicky was silently destroying herself. She was drinking from morning to night, hiding bottles, and falling apart in private.
Having now turned her life around, she has launched websites to help people who find themselves in similar situations to hers.
“I was drinking all day, every day. Sometimes, I would start before breakfast. By night, I was regularly downing three bottles of wine without blinking, sometimes more,” she explained.
“But I still ran a business. I still got my son to school. I told myself that meant I was in control, but I was completely lost.”
Nicky was brought up in Runcorn and later lived in Widnes, where she launched an alternative clothes shop and café in the town centre when she was in her late teens.
As her entrepreneurial career took off, Nicky found alcohol was an embedded element in her work routine.
Business lunches meant wine was standard, and work events and award dinners were awash with alcohol.
“It was just part of the job. Midday prosecco, wine with lunch, and cocktails in the evening. It was constant,” she continued.
“No one batted an eyelid because I always got the job done. But really, I was drinking during most working days.”
It is a story that will resonate with thousands of women, high-achieving, high-functioning, and drinking far more than they dare to admit.
For Nicky, it took a near-total collapse for her to admit that she was addicted.
“I didn’t think I was an alcoholic. I just thought I was going through a rough time,” she said.
“I had lost my husband, I was running a company, and I thought I was just self-medicating.”
In 2017, her husband Andy suffered a sudden and catastrophic heart attack at home.
“I had to perform CPR while our son called 999. I genuinely thought he was dying in front of me,” she said.
“As soon as the ambulance took him, I went straight to the kitchen and downed a full bottle of wine. I couldn’t process the shock any other way.
“For two weeks, I sat at his hospital bedside, smuggling vodka in a Diet Coke bottle. I was drinking constantly, at home, in taxis, even in the ward.
“No one noticed. I was so good at pretending. But I was completely broken inside.”
When Andy eventually woke, it was clear the brain injury had left him unable to walk, talk or even recognise Nicky.
He was moved into a specialist care facility, where he would spend the next three years before dying of Covid-related complications in 2020.
“Watching him fade away like that destroyed me. Visiting the care home became unbearable. He was confused, angry, didn’t know who I was,” Nicky said.
“I hated what our life had become, so I drank to both cope and escape. There was nothing stopping me. No visitors, no work events, no school run.
“I was topping up all day, hiding bottles behind the bins, blacking out on the sofa. I’d fall over and tell people it was vertigo.”
Despite this, Nicky managed to keep her business running and even launched two successful dating apps for widows and widowers.
“I was just about functioning, but I was lying to everyone, including myself. My skin was grey, I was losing mobility, and I’d wake up most mornings not remembering how I got to bed,” she continued.
“But still I thought, ‘I can’t be an alcoholic. I’ve never missed a board meeting.’”
Nicky’s tipping point came in November 2024. She explained: “I tried to stop on my own, went cold turkey, and ended up in A&E.
“I had full-blown panic attacks just trying to leave the house. One morning, I looked in the mirror and thought, ‘this can’t be it’.
“I checked myself into a rehab facility and started a full medical detox.
“They said, ‘you’re not a bad person, you’re an unwell person who needs help’, and I just burst into tears.
“For the first time, someone saw me, not the businesswoman or the widow or the mum, just someone who was struggling.”
At rehab, Nicky underwent intensive therapy and was introduced to a recovery community that changed her life.
Now, nine months sober, Nicky has launched SoberLove, a dating and friendship app for people who are sober or sober-curious.
“Dating when you are in recovery is terrifying. So many first dates revolve around alcohol. I wanted to create a space for people who want a real connection without the booze,” she said.
Nicky’s also created SoberAF, an online community and support group for anyone who does not connect with traditional recovery paths.
“AA saves lives, but it is not for everyone, especially women,” she explained.
“There is so much shame and stigma around female addiction, particularly for women similar to me who society says ‘is not what an alcoholic looks like.’”
Nicky wants more women to recognise the signs before it’s too late, adding: “If you are Googling ‘am I drinking too much?, you already know.
“If you are hiding bottles or waking up ashamed, you are not alone. You are not broken, but you do need help.”
Today, Nicky is healthier, happier, and more honest than she has ever been.
“I swim every day, I walk without pain, I laugh again, my son has his mum back, and I am finally living a life that does not need to be blurred out,” she concluded.
Find out more about SoberAF and SoberLove by visiting SoberAF.club and SoberLove.app
