Oh former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop. National’s walking 4chan post has had quite the week.

For those not in the know, former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop was at the AMA’s and was told to “shut up you dickhead” by the big actual daddy of NZ Music, Don McGlashan, after former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop puffed and spluttered and generally carried on when Stan Walker sang a song in te reo Maori, about te reo Māori, and there were some flags.

Former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop’s boss, former CEO Christopher Luxton, is super okay with former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop’s behaviour and I assume this is only because former CEO Christopher Luxton has never been overheard talking smack at the Aotearoa Music Awards because he’s never been.

Apparently, what had upset former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop was the “politicising” of the performance because of the flags, which I guess may be some kind of trigger for him because a) flags and National have an awkward history and b) maybe every time former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop has seen a Toitū te Tiriti flag it has literally gone hand in hand with someone calling him a dickhead.

However, such nasty wokeism wellbeings such as being triggered or having feelings about stuff is now verboten so it can’t possibly be that.

Now, I haven’t been to that many concerts; they’re very loud and I find it hard to be in one place for too long unless I’m at home, because when I’m at home if I move someone will ask me to do something. But as a performer, entertainer and theatre bore I can tell you that you might want your performance and your performance area to enhance, reiterate or echo what you’re literally singing, saying or dancing about, or even to reinforce your brand, if you are a modern.

So, if you were going to see, say, Glenn Campbell, you would expect to see rhinestones and/or a cowboy, and if you were going to see cricket in 1987 you would expect to see Benson & Hedges advertisements, which is something former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop can surely understand. Ergo, et al, et merde, anyone would tell you that if you were planning on performing a song in te reo Maori about te reo Māori in 2025 for the Aotearoa Music Awards they would say, “okay well this could definitely use at the absolute very least one flag and you should wave the shit out of it”.

But I think former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop’s use of the word “politicising” is actually really sad, because I bet you it’s because he sees te ao Māori as something that is only ever political, the “other side”, something to be dealt with or a problem to be solved, and not the taonga that tangata Tiriti are so, so lucky to grow up with.

Also, Fur Patrol should absolutely re-release the bunny T-Shirt former tobacco lobbyist Christopher Bishop was wearing to the AMA’s and this time make it very, very, very political.