'The pain is indescribable': Grieving SA mom pleads for help after au pair daughter dies in US
The mother of 27-year-old Thobile Tshabalala who died earlier this month in the US where she was working as an au pair is appealing for support to repatriate her body to SA.
In a GoFundMe summary which has been set up to help her family bring her home, Tshabalala's mother, Nthabiseng Mnisi, said she was devastated.
“My beautiful daughter, my shining star, left this world far from home, in the US. She went to America last year to work. Unfortunately, she got sick in April and she was let go,” she said.
“The pain of losing her is indescribable, but what's equally unbearable is the financial burden that now weighs me down,” she said.
Tshabalala experienced a severe mental health crisis in April, just a few weeks after arriving in the US as part of an au pair programme.
“Thobile joined the au pair programme and was deployed to the US. In April, she experienced a mental breakdown and was coerced into breaking her match while in a compromised mental state, resulting in the termination of her contract,” said family representative Kholekile Mnisi.
Mnisi said after the termination, Tshabalala was allegedly left without support.
“The programme allegedly failed to provide Thobile with an immediate place of safety, leaving her vulnerable and without adequate support,” said Mnisi.
According to the family, after losing her placement, Tshabalala travelled to Phoenix, Arizona, and later to New Jersey in the hope of returning home through a friend who had promised to help her secure a flight back.
While travelling from New Jersey to Ohio, she collapsed and was hospitalised. Her condition deteriorated rapidly.
Tshabalala died on June 8.
The family has since launched a GoFundMe campaign with a goal of raising R362,104 to cover the costs of bringing her body back home. So far R325,314 has been raised through 483 donations.
Tshabalala's death has sparked broader concern over how young South Africans participating in international work and study programmes are supported in times of crisis, and what legal frameworks exist when a citizen dies abroad.
According to the department of international relations & co-operation (Dirco), the government provides logistical support but no financial assistance in cases where citizens die overseas.
This includes helping families connect with undertakers, obtain quotes for transport or cremation, and securing the necessary import permits from the department of health.
Dirco’s guidelines states that “The South African government does not render any financial assistance pertaining to the death of South African citizens abroad and that financial transaction for the importation of mortal remains, local burial or cremation and return of the ashes may only be done via a commercial institution such as a bank.”
Mnisi confirmed Dirco had sent the family an email outlining four options which were repatriation of the remains, cremation and return of ashes, burial in the US at the family’s cost or a pauper’s burial in the US free of charge.
All costs, however, fall on the family, regardless of the option selected.
Mnisi said despite the lack of financial support from the government, the family has found some assistance through South African officials in Washington, D.C.
“They have been very helpful thus far,” said Mnisi.
Dirco spokesperson Clayson Monyela confirmed on X that consular teams had been activated to assist.
“We've activated our consular team on this case. Government policy dictates that consular assistance is non-financial. We are, however, mobilising resources through other means. Updates to follow on Monday,” he said.
