I saw a skit recently on Facebook where a man had to do the chores around the house because he didn’t want his wife “complaining” that she was tired when it was time for at night. He happily did the shopping, cooking, laundry, and even the dishes. The drama came when it was eventually time for action – he was the one begging not to be disturbed. How ironic, you say? And some men in this time and day would still look forward to their equally tired wives cooking fresh meals after work, despite the fact that both had had a long day. This shouldn’t be a problem if they both enjoy the arrangement. But is this always the case?

To many men, remembering birthdays, making and remembering grocery lists, catering for the children and their needs, keeping the house tidy, and even checking up on in-laws are no big deals until it’s their turn to carry such tasks out. I salute single dads and do not make light of their situation in any way. As a matter of fact, I am certain that they have a better understanding of this topic than anybody. Some men even lash out at their partners, saying they have house help, whether live-in or not, forgetting the fact that it is also the woman who makes that arrangement work. Help cannot automatically be attuned to the needs of your family or the changes made from time to time without the help of the woman, you know?

What am I saying in essence? Part of loving your woman right is helping her out without her asking. When you decide to actively help around the house (not just a one-off thing), the woman feels seen, loved, and in more ways than one, catered for. And no, it does not make you a weakling, nor does it reduce your . Rather, it is a sort of self-care not only for you or the woman you love, but your children and home altogether, because a happy woman is a sane and more productive woman. On the contrary, an overly stressed woman is an angry, mistake-prone, rebellious woman.

I do hope you find a need you can in your home (and relationship, if you’re yet to tie the knot).

Till I come your way next time, I remain Tobi Yusuf, founder of RIAH Events and Weddings, Relationship Mentor, Convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.

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