Dealing with the emotions of having a child going off to college is daunting enough. But equally daunting is the overwhelming cost of a higher education. 

A new survey from Citizens looks at both the emotional toll and the financial strain a child leaving the nest to take on the challenge of college can cause for the family.

Among the very relatable findings from the survey of 1,072 parents of children aged 13 to 29 are that:

With College Board reporting that the cost of college for 2024-2025 is as high as $62,990 per year, it’s no wonder that the Citizens survey revealed parents are resorting to drastic measures to pay for their child’s higher education—and spare them from taking on massive student loans.

More than 60% say they went above and beyond typical financing options like 529 plans and federal loans. For instance:

“Paying for college is one of the most emotionally and financially stressful milestones for parents,” confirms Chris Ebeling, the Head of Student Lending for Citizens.

But there are ways they can make the experience less formidable.

The best approach to reducing financial stress about paying for college is to plan ahead, according to Ebeling, as well as other financial planners. 

The math is pretty simple on that front, with Sophoan Prak, CFP, Financial Advisor at Vanguard, telling Parents, “The earlier you start saving, the more time your money has to grow.”

Of course, it’s difficult to know where to start in the planning process.

Jennifer Seitz, CFEI and Director of Education at Greenlight says the first step is to simply get a sense of the full picture, from tuition to the cost of housing, to meal plans, transportation, and supplies.

“Don’t feel like you need to figure it all out in one sitting,” she qualifies.

Other things you can do to kickstart your college savings planning process include:

“Financial planning doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to start early,” Ebeling ultimately advises. 

There are many “dos” when it comes to setting your family up for success in your college planning journey. But you also want to avoid taking certain measures as well.

Specifically, Prak cautions parents against sacrificing their own financial goals to manage college expenses.

“Retirement—though it may feel far off—should remain a top savings priority, since it’s something you can’t take out a loan for,” she says. 

Prak further notes that overextending yourself financially can create long-term stress, which you want to avoid at all costs. This is a notion that Ebeling also endorses, saying, “Sacrificing your own financial future can create long-term risks and potentially place future burdens back on your children.”

Seitz underscores the idea that while it’s natural to want to help your child avoid debt, “Draining savings or taking on high-interest loans may create longer-term burdens for the whole family.” 

In the end, experts agree that the healthiest approach to college planning is a balanced one.

Experts are on the same page that including your child in your college planning process benefits the entire family.

“The more planning you do together, the more control and confidence you’ll both gain,” says Seitz.

To be fair, Ebeling acknowledges that, as the study found, talking with your kids about finances isn’t always easy. “But avoiding the topic only leads to confusion and stress later,” he says.

The first step is to be clear on your own numbers. For instance, Seitz says you should know what you’re comfortable contributing before you talk with your child. 

Then, Prak suggests keeping an open, honest, and age-appropriate dialogue going with your child. “Think of it as an ongoing conversation, not a one-time lecture,” concurs Ebeling. 

Not only will setting expectations early on keep everyone on the same page, but involving your child in decision making about college planning models financial responsibility, according to Seitz. And eventually, when they go off to school, this will most certainly come in handy!

Financial readiness for college may be a difficult topic, but as Seitz ultimately says, “Your honesty is a gift that helps them build a realistic, empowered relationship with money.”