Renowned vocalist and broadcaster Kokui Selormey

Renowned vocalist and broadcaster Kokui Selormey has advised parents to avoid comparing their children and instead focus on identifying and nurturing the unique strengths each one possesses.

Speaking at A Convergence of Mothers, a forum held in Accra and hosted by media personality MzGee, Kokui — a mother of four — shared insights on what she described as one of the most important lessons in parenting: understanding that every child is different, and that’s okay.

“Sometimes our children are the problem too,” she stated candidly. “Some are more brilliant than others, some are quicker to understand, some have a worse temper than others — and that’s okay.”

According to her, parenting becomes more effective and fulfilling when guardians stop applying a one-size-fits-all approach and instead observe and support their children based on their individual personalities and gifts.

“I’ve had to learn that sometimes being able to identify each child's unique gift is the foundation for empowering them and helping them to build confidence,” she said. “It can be something small. Even if it’s, ‘I’m the best at cleaning the table,’ that’s a start.”

Kokui believes confidence is often born from recognition. By acknowledging what a child is good at — whether it’s organizing, storytelling, drawing, or simply being kind — parents create a platform on which self-worth and purpose can be built.

“Everyone has a unique gift, but we may not always discover it at an early age. For some, it takes time,” she noted. “As parents, let’s encourage ourselves to find and celebrate it.”

She also cautioned against the common parenting practice of comparison, where one child is constantly measured against another — whether within the family or outside of it.

“That can do more harm than good,” she said. “Let’s empower, not diminish.”

The event, themed “Yesterday’s Daughters, Today’s Mothers,” brought together mothers from diverse backgrounds to share lived experiences and reflect on raising children in an increasingly complex world.

Kokui’s message resonated with many in the audience, especially in a society where academic success and obedience often overshadow emotional intelligence, creative talent, or individuality.

Her advice to fellow parents was simple but profound: “Look closely. Celebrate the small wins. If your child finds pride in something — even if you think it’s small — meet them there. From that seed, confidence can grow.”

AM/KA

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