It’s every happy couple’s nightmare. You’ve tied the knot, survived the speeches (without anyone dredging up anything too incriminating) and cut the wedding cake… only for half your guests to stare at their slices like vegetarians who’ve been served chopped liver. Swap-outs and substitutes are easy enough to navigate for main plates, but it’s far trickier to satisfy the dietaries and the taste buds with the cake. And, despite spending an inordinate amount on a baked good, you somehow forgot that your aunt is now certain she’s coeliac (despite the many times you’ve spotted her in the queue at Cedric Grolet) and your maid of honour has given up dairy (after years as a raw milk evangelist).

It’s no secret that fashion folk are as picky with their food as they are with their looks – planning a wedding with any number of them in attendance is no mean feat. Could, therefore, British Vogue staffers have the solution for a cake that caters to even the fussiest of eaters, while still looking (and, crucially, tasting) the part?

A whip-around office poll was unanimous. “Call Claire Ptak,” the cheery Californian founder of east London’s Violet bakery and the fashion set’s de facto queen of cakes. Her latest venture is the secret café on the top floor of Alaïa’s New Bond Street boutique and when I stop by her flagship on Dalston’s Wilton Way I spot that she’s wearing a pair of the brand’s viral ballet flats with her white baker’s overall, sleeves rolled up, over a pair of camo Corteiz cargo pants.

While Ptak doesn’t necessarily specialise in making wedding cakes – though she did spend a “traumatic” stint working for someone who did at the start of her career – she proved her pedigree on a global scale in 2018, when she was revealed as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s baker of choice. For their nuptials, the couple opted for Violet’s signature lemon and elderflower sponge. (They didn’t have too many gluten- and dairy-free guests to factor in, it would seem – 2018 was a simpler time!)

“Today, we’ve made you a pistachio cake,” Ptak says, gesturing towards the seven-stack tower perched on the bakery’s steel counter. With sponges created using a hybrid of two recipes from her Love is a Pink Cake book, it combines the pillowy texture of the gluten-free Bubble cake with the California cake, Violet’s plant-based bestseller. “Granted, this particular cake isn’t vegan, as we’ve used eggs, but is dairy and gluten free,” the baker explains, noting that making it vegan would be as simple as swapping the eggs for a flax-based substitute.

With its layers sandwiched with plant-based buttercream – and supported by an internal architecture of card platforms and wooden dowels to support its roughly 10kg weight – the shaping begins, with Violet’s sous chef, Adam Urbanik, hewing away at the baked behemoth like a sculptor chiselling marble.

Watching curls of sponge fall away, I’m immediately struck by the cake’s visible moistness – there’s no hint of telltale GF crumbliness, and a spring to the touch that feels just like… well, a really good sponge. So what’s the secret? “With this one, nuts make it a lot moister,” Ptak explains, noting that their fat content also helps.

“My original recipe uses ground almonds, but we wanted to use pistachio – the flavour’s so moreish and it just feels more special for a wedding,” even if that does come at a cost. (“It’s not an everyday nut!”) Her particular flour combination is also key. “It’s brown rice flour, sorghum and tapioca,” with Ptak crediting the latter for the cake’s featherlightness.

Lastly, once the domed gateaux is slathered in painterly slaps of (sadly not vegan) Swiss meringue and festooned with pale tulip petals, it’s time for the taste test. At the very first forkful, what surprises is both the lightness of the crumb and its structural integrity – no mealiness to speak of at all. The pistachio brings both a rich moistness and a faint marzipan-y perfume that sets off wedding bells in my mind, while the mallow-y coating gives a welcome sugary kick without triggering the sort of glucose spike that’ll put you out of commission for the rest of the day. In plainer terms, it takes the cake.

“Is there any sort of dietary-specific wedding cake that Ptak can’t make?” I wonder… The answer? Yes. Yes, there are. “We love to work with a client to do something really bespoke, but generally I maintain the policy that we make the cakes that we think are the best – the best flavours, the best colours, the best decorations – and then customers can choose from our offering,” which, mind you, is already very comprehensive.

So if a 10-tier keto cake is what you’re after, best to give Violet a miss. But if GF, DF, vegan and even low sugar are among the boxes you’re looking to tick – while making sure the damn thing still tastes good – then voilà: you really can have your cake and eat it.

Cake stand, LSA International. Set Design: Alfie di Trolio. With thanks to Violet bakery.