12 Self-Care Practices that are a Little Unconventional
Some self-care you practice daily but others may happen once in a while. You are allowed to decide what you need, when you need it. A great question to ask, especially if you feel overwhelmed is, “What is the gentlest thing I can do for myself in this moment?” Trust yourself to know what’s best for you. Remember too that you don’t have to apologize for or explain how you take care.
Decluttering is an underrated (and unconventional) way to practice self-care. Remove the things that remove you from your life. What a gift it is to let go of things you don’t love and use. The thought of decluttering may feel hard, but you can make it easier by creating some rules to eliminate decision fatigue and remind you of what’s important as you work towards living with less clutter. When we were decluttering, it was a little overwhelming to decide what we’d keep, sell, trash or recycle. Instead of having to make that decision for every item, we created a rule. We decided to sell anything worth $50 or more. Otherwise, we’d donate it. If it wasn’t suitable for donation, we’d trash or recycle the item. If you aren’t sure where to start, consider these tiny decluttering projects. When you struggle with decluttering, remember these 10 little things.
Not everything is meant for you. Even all of the good stuff isn’t meant for you. Most stuff isn’t meant for you. Our attention is pulled in so many directions so we have to limit what we allow in. From email and social media to opportunities and opinions, if it isn’t meant for you, walk away. Usually, no explanation or response is necessary. P.S. When you are walking away from the stuff that isn’t meant for you, you are taking steps towards what is.
My life is better without alcohol. With the “rosé all day” hype and “mommy juice” memes, you’d think drinking was a form a self-care. It has often been positioned as a way to take the edge off a long day and for a long time, I thought it helped me relax. Once I stopped drinking for 100 days, I realized alcohol, even in smaller amounts was adding stress and anxiety to my body and my life. Now that it’s been more than five years since I last had a drink (or a hangover), I realize that not drinking is an unconventional way I take better care of myself. This is why I stopped and how I did it.
The reason I journal is to declutter my mind. Instead of letting all of those ideas and fears and worries run around in my brain, I leave them on the page. Sometimes they stay there and sometimes they don’t but usually if I keep writing them out, they fade. The things I write in my journals are not for anyone else. I don’t want my journals left behind when I’m gone. That’s how I feel about most of my stuff. It’s hard enough to lose someone you love, but to then have to go through their stuff and make decisions you don’t know how to make feels impossible. Removing some of those decisions seems like a loving thing to do.
The news, your phone, social media, email and any other noise that is compromising your mental health usually has some sort of on/off switch. There is a fine line between being informed and being completely overwhelmed. You have a choice. You can turn it off or use a do not disturb feature. Instead of waiting until you’ve had enough, schedule pockets of time in your day and week where you power down. Tune out so you can tune in.
What you weigh says nothing about you and science is showing that it doesn’t even really tell you that much about your health. If you (like me) grew up in the claws of diet culture, that’s hard to accept. If you’ve ever measured your worth by your weight or body size, or felt measured by others in a negative way because of it, you’ve been negatively affected by diet culture. Even when I thought I had let dieting go, I was still weighing myself every day or at least every week and it wasn’t serving me. Living without the scale has allowed me to be happier and healthier in every possible way.
Amanda White, LPC says, “Give up being right around people who are committed to making you wrong.” A healthy conversation, even if you don’t agree with someone is one thing but when you are defending your point without purpose, it’s time to move on. I don’t have the time and energy to be right, to argue my point, or to engage in conversations about things when others are committed to making me wrong. Being right can’t be more worthwhile than being connected, rested and well. I’d rather notice how lovely my first cup of coffee smells, go for a hike or read a book. I know I will regret investing more of myself trying to be right.
For real self-care, trade pushing through for resting through, for easing through and for taking care of you all the way through. They tell us to push through, to work hard and play hard, to sleep when we are dead. We didn’t become happier, more fulfilled and connected by working hard, playing hard, going above and beyond and pushing through. Instead we ended up depleted, uninspired, sick, tired, and overwhelmed. It’s time for a new path forward. What if we were gentle with ourselves instead?
Caring less about what others think is the ultimate form of self-care. What would you do if you cared a little bit less about what they thought, what their expectations were, and who you thought you were supposed to be for everyone else? What would you make if you weren’t worried about sharing it and hearing anyone’s thoughts on your art? Who would you be and what would your life be like if you trusted you first and the rest was just background noise that you could turn down as needed?
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to enjoy a simple pleasure? Your list might look different but when I think about simple pleasures, it’s slow morning walks, a warm cup of tea, and a good book. Simple pleasures make my day feel luxurious. I don’t wait until I’ve earned them or feel like I deserve them. The best part about simple pleasures is that they are always around us, waiting for our attention, we just have to take the time to engage and appreciate them. I hope you connect with your simple pleasures and give yourself permission to enjoy them every day.
You don’t have to wait for permission to live your life the way you want to live your life. Give yourself permission! Write your permission slips down and keep them nearby to remind you how much freedom you have. If you don’t know what to write, consider some of these self-help quotes. You’ll find a permission slip in every chapter of my book Gentle, Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want. Giving yourself permission is real self-care.
Let go of the pressure to be “normal” or to fit in or do it all or do it right. Instead, start checking your heart before you check your phone or the opinions of others. Experiment, see what resonates and make decisions for your health and wellness that work best for you. You know you better than anyone else. Trust that. It may feel like a relief when someone tells you exactly how to change and what steps to take but always remember, that’s a system that once worked best for them or someone else. It takes a little more work and awareness to craft something for yourself but it’s often far more effective. Listen to advice and recommendations, extract what works best for you and leave the rest behind.
These are ideas and recommendations, not orders and obligations. This is an invitation to take really good care of YOU.
